What? It’s Christmas?

all seasons

I forgot it was Christmas time. Someone mentioned it a couple of days ago, so I looked at the calendar and sure enough it’s only 2 weeks away.  The tree is still in the garage. No gifts have been bought. However, I did manage to put up a strand of lights this morning and a wreath on the door.

How did Christmas get here so quickly? I’m still waiting on summer. Last thing I knew it was Spring. Summer hasn’t even come yet. That’s how I feel. This year has been a blur for me. Each season melded into the other and most of the year I couldn’t tell you even what month it was.

My son started school in August and I thought it was May still. Then at some point, skeletons were on display in the stores and I couldn’t figure out why. Then turkeys were on sale and now Christmas? I’m almost an entire year behind.

With the passing of my step-father in March, the year was completely turned upside down. It’s as though the last 9 months have been spent in a dream state. Nothing seems real and nothing seems to be moving. Yet, everything is moving. But, I’m still waiting on summer. It never came.

When will I wake up from this dream? When will I realize that life is still moving forward and that I have to move with it? It’s such an odd feeling to be here, but not ‘here’. It’s December? No, it can’t be. That doesn’t make any sense.

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13 Responses to What? It’s Christmas?

  1. Grannymar says:

    Don’t worry. one of these days you will wake up and hear the birds singing. When it happens, rejoice and sing.

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    • mewhoami says:

      Thank you! On many days I do hear them sing and those days are beautiful. I just look forward to the day when my world gets back to moving. Hopefully next year will be lived in an awakened state.

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  2. April says:

    😦 My sister passed in March also. It was quite a shock when I discovered what month it actually was. After my cancer diagnosis, I vowed to LIVE each day–yet I can’t even remember the last 8 months. Yes, Christmas is here–almost. My tree is up, but sparsely decorated. But—that’s good enough. It’s the people and family who count, not the perfect vision of Christmas-land. Don’t forget the zen-Christmas. 🙂

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    • mewhoami says:

      Oh yes, I’m remembering the zen Christmas. It’s a deal. But, can’t help to feel a little lost before it gets here. It’s strange how time can go by without us taking notice. I really want to be ‘awake’ next year and enjoy every moment, for time, as we know, is too short. You’ve done great on your tree. I think it’s looks just perfect.

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  3. I have all the decorations up, but can’t afford to even send cards this year, it seems (not on time, anyway, so why bother). I’m sorry your world has been wonky since March. I’m rather the opposite – I had a summer but no spring. Autumn and winter are just going too fast.

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    • mewhoami says:

      The seasons are going by way too fast. What is up with this year? So strange. I with you on the card issue. Having not sent any last year, I really need to get around to doing it this year. It’s not too late yet. We could both do it still if we set our minds to. Maybe I’ll work on mine later this week.

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      • I don’t even have any cards, and have at least a 30 minute drive to get any – and then they won’t be “me” cards. I work until 6:30pm, and never have any money… And most of my cards go to America, so the date for them getting there on time was..,yesterday? Sigh. I so dislike the pressure of Christmas. If I were more organised maybe I’d have a chance!

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        • mewhoami says:

          Oh wow. Okay that definitely puts a damper on things. After adding together the money, time and commute to get cards I can clearly see your frustration. Good thing is that Christmas time will be over before you know it. Then you’ll have a whole year to plan for the next one.

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  4. aviets says:

    I feel this way every year, with every change of season! -Amy at http://www.momgoeson.wordpress.com

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  5. suzjones says:

    Just keep breathing…. think Zen. We can do it.
    I still have so many gifts to buy. We’ll probably do that tomorrow. I really want to finish my quilt before then (have to buy more fabric). The Garden Gnome reckons I won’t get it done. I’m tired. I want to pack up my toys and go home….

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  6. Matt says:

    I think you just keep breathing. And then one day, the time travel stops.

    That’s my hope.

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