When Tomorrow Doesn’t Come

woman“My mother called on Sunday wanting to spend time with me, but I was too busy that day and couldn’t. On Tuesday she died.” As I spoke to the young woman who cried these words, tears filled my eyes. Her mother was her best friend, as is mine. Although I couldn’t relate to her loss, I could relate to their closeness. While she spoke, I imagined that it were me in her shoes; feeling the pain and sorrow of that heartrending loss.

She was overwhelmed with pain, anger and heartache. Her mind swarmed with regrets and self-blame. She should have made time for her mother on that Sunday. She should have stopped her mom from buying that junk car, the one she was later killed in. She should have been there. She should have done something, anything.

She was filled with whys and why now. Why so suddenly? Why my mom? Why so soon?

The pain, she admitted, was almost too much to bear. She was lost and so afraid of tomorrow, knowing that on that day her mother wouldn’t be there. Who would she call? Who would visit her? Who would be ‘grandma’ to her baby?

Other than offering her my support, there was nothing I could tell her. There is no word or phrase that can take away that type of pain. When I lost my stepfather a couple of years ago, people tried their best to soothe me with their words. They had good intentions, but their words fell to the floor. What I found to be the most helpful and really the only thing that helped, was simply knowing that I had a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.

A loss of that magnitude is almost impossible to make sense of. It doesn’t even seem real. The only remedy to that pain, is time. Lots of time and it doesn’t go away. It only eases in severity.

This young woman was not at fault for what happened to her mother. She had no way of stopping the inevitable. But in this tragic event, there is a lesson to be learned.

What we think is important, that task which “must” be done today, is probably not. However, what is important, what we think will still be there tomorrow, may not be.

Loss is difficult, but loss with regrets is almost unbearable. So be careful not to take for granted the time you have with your loved ones. The only day that’s promised to any of us is today, and for some it will be their last. For them, there will be no tomorrow.

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22 Responses to When Tomorrow Doesn’t Come

  1. Very true…..savour every moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. George says:

    We learn this, all too often, the hard way.

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  3. The poor woman. I’m so sorry she is feeling guilt. We do think we have all the time in the world, don’t we?

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    • mewhoami says:

      Yes we do, even when we try not to. Our days creep by and we get so caught up in our own world that we forget to truly appreciate those around us. We forget that one day we will run out of time.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. amommasview says:

    What a powerful and emotional post. You are so right… Please excuse me, I need to hug my family…

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  5. very nice reminder! Always be grateful for the times we have together

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  6. So true MWAI. Sadly I watch while this lesson, so often taught, so often goes unlearned.

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  7. “We are living the good old days!” Olsteen

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  8. Pingback: My Picks Of The Week #42 | A Momma's View

  9. We all know somewhere in the back of our minds that “someday” the people we love are going to go home. In our concious minds though, it is something we never even consider. So it is a tremendous shock when it happens. You are right, no words exist that will help in those moments of grief. All anyone can do is be there, be the hand they hold, the shoulder they cry on or the arm around the shoulder to help them stand.

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    • mewhoami says:

      You’re right. We all know that it’s inevitable, but I think it’s easier to make ourselves believe, even unintentionally, that they’ll be around forever. Tomorrow will always come – until suddenly it doesn’t. Having that person, or many of them, during our time of grief is often what gets us through it.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. lbeth1950 says:

    Very touching. Found you at Momma’s View. Congratulations.

    Like

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