Is there a part of your life that you keep secret from your friends and loved ones? Perhaps it’s a habit you have, an illness, unruly children, or a rocky relationship. Although it would bring us a sense of relief to confide in someone, we instead choose to remain silent.
Why?
Is it because we don’t want others to judge us? Are we embarrassed? Is it because we don’t want to cause people stress or worry? Do we believe that no one would understand? Or, is it because we have the false belief that everyone else has a “perfect” life too?
We only show people what we want them to see; what we allow them to see. We show them the good parts of our life, while hiding the rest.
We discuss our children’s achievements, not the tantrums they throw. We talk about how amazing our spouse is, not how easily angered they are. We say that we’re feeling great, when really our bodies are struggling more than ever. We smile about the wonderful day we had, while hiding the fact that we spent most of it worrying and in tears.
Why?
Don’t we realize that no one‘s life is perfect? Everyone has problems. We may smile and laugh, and only discuss the positive sides of life, but that doesn’t mean that there are not negative sides as well.
Although it may be easier to keep our issues silent, it’s not always the healthiest choice. Sometimes we need to confide in someone; a person we can talk to without the fear of judgement or ridicule.
It’s okay to have problems. Everyone does.
We should never be ashamed for having an imperfect life.
“If the secret sorrows of everyone could be read on their forehead, how many who now cause envy would suddenly become the objects of pity.” ~ Italian Proverb
Me - Who am I? 
i blog about the good and bad, but I don’t bleed on my blog. Nothing too deep. It’s not entertaining to bleed there. Honesty is important to me but I don’t care for pity.
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I agree with you completely. Sometimes it’s good to talk about the bad, but without getting pity in return. Perhaps that’s one reason why people choose to be silent, both on their blog and in their life.
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I’m a very open person and usually tell it as it is in my life. However I do keep some things to myself.
I don’t tell friends I miss my son who is away until sept, so badly every day I feel like crying. I don’t tell them when I have a flash back while standing beside them of a time in my childhood best forgotten. I don’t wake my other half when I have a nightmare.
Your post made me realise I keep quite a few secrets. Why? I’m not sure maybe it’s to pretend or maybe it’s to survive. Maybe that’s why people sugar coat life?
What an interesting read. Thank you.
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The little secrets of life. I actually hadn’t thought of all of those until reading your comment. We sure do keep a lot of secrets, don’t we? I think a big part of that is to help us to survive. We understand that focusing on the bad things will only bring negative feelings, therefore we tend to focus on the good. Same thing with speaking to others about the big issues in our lives – perhaps it’s easier for us, to pretend that they don’t exist or to, at the very least, give them as little attention as possible. Thank you for such a thought provoking comment.
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A thought provoking post that made me realize I have quite a few secrets. Not that I’m afraid of admitting I have a far from perfect life but there’s a time and a place for everything. My blog reflects the good and bad in my life. But some things are still kept private. As many of our thoughts often are. Thanks again for an interesting read.
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There is a time and place for everything and our world wide blog blog is typically not the place where we would feel comfortable saying “everything”. But, even in our personal lives we often keep many, many secrets from those we should feel free to talk to. I think our privacy is a form of protection, for both others and for ourselves.
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Yes, I totally agree with you. Protection for both ourselves and others. Well said.
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I totally agree. When we are honest and open up to others we learn that most people are living with similar challenges and we are not alone. Love to you from Jenna
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Yes, exactly and it can be so difficult to go through challenges in life alone. Also, by reaching out we may learn that there may be solutions to our problems that we had never considered before. Not every problem needs to be told of course, but some do and sometimes we need to talk simply to get it out.
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Thought provoking…. I didn’t think I kept secrets. Maybe I do. The depth of my feelings regarding some things going on around me I don’t share. I think, oddly, it’s mostly too difficult to get others to understand the complexity of it all. You’re right, there’s no shame in it at all. But boy the energy used trying to get others to understand….
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People may understand to a degree, but no one will ever fully understand anything that we go through, simply because of how personal it is *us*. Everyone handles issues differently and sometimes what may be an issue to us, is not an issue to someone else even though they’re going through something similar. But, just knowing that we have someone we can count on, can do wonders for a person’s mental health.
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Very well stated MWAI.
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You touched on my reasons in an earlier comment – I don’t like to speak of the bad, I’m a big believer that what you think today becomes your tomorrow, so I like to speak of the good, and attract the good to me. And while I don’t share all of my sorrows, I don’t share all of my joys either, somethings aren’t secrets, but they are for me to keep.
And having said that – it’s a good reminder not to ever compare our lives to the Facebook or Instagram lives of others!! LOL.
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Our life and our outlook on that life is formed by our words, that’s for certain. It’s good that you try to focus on the good rather than on the bad. There will always be bad, but by focusing on it we are doing ourselves no favors. You are so right about social networks! Facade central!
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