Who are you behind closed doors?
“I don’t know what to do with my daughter. She has such a terrible temper and is angry all the time. She raises her hands at me, slams doors, cusses and screams throughout the house. She calls the cops on me for pushing her away while trying to protect myself, and what do the cops say? I can’t do anything and neither can they. Social services says the same. So, what am I supposed to do? She needs help.”
This woman couldn’t have been talking about the same young girl I know. That young girl is a walking example of sweetness. She’s quiet, but happy and smiles at everyone she passes by. That sweet young girl, acting like that? No way. That can’t be right.
Apparently however, she has been acting surreptitiously for quite some time, portraying herself to be gentle and kind, while knowing that inside of her was rage and anger. It’s obvious that she’s crying out for help, but by looking at and listening to her, one would never imagine the scene that takes place behind closed doors.
Jekyll and Hyde
In many of us, there are two sides – One that we show to the world and the other that we keep at home. For some of us the two sides only vary a little and for others they are complete opposites.
In the privacy of my home I am silly, laid back and talkative. In public I am shy, quiet and reserved.
I’ve known others who are social butterflies, willing to help anyone in need. But in private, they are a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any moment. In order to keep the peace, you have to constantly walk on egg shells when around them.
In public, people portray themselves to be whoever they need to be, in order to maintain their reputation. They don’t dare show others who they really are. It’s not until they’re in the comfort of their own home, that they can lay it all down and be the real them – no matter how unpleasant or ugly that may be.
That saying, “you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover” applies to everyone, both good and bad. Just because someone looks nice or speaks kindly, doesn’t mean that they are.
Who are they in private? That is where their true character is defined.
Sadly, those who have to be subjected to a person’s two sides, often have to do so alone. Rarely are they believed. “Joe? No way. I’ve known him for years. He’s one of the nicest people I know. You must be exaggerating.”
Unfortunately, this is how abusers and criminals get away with their evil deeds for so long. Their sweetness conceals the rottenness within and others refuse to see it.
Jekyll and Hyde – They are everywhere, walking among us… hiding within our friends, our coworkers, our spouse, and sometimes even the person in the mirror.
“Character is what you are in the dark.” ~ DL Moody