Although we all have different reasons for starting a blog, there is one thing that each of us has in common. We all want to write. But, should there be a limit on what we write about? Do people sometimes forget that once they hit “publish” that their words are out there for the whole world to see and likely forever?
The other day I read a lengthy article written by a pregnant woman who was unable to connect with her unborn baby. As a reader of that article, I was left with the impression that not only did she have absolutely no feelings for her baby, but that she didn’t even want it.
That broke my heart, not for her, but for her unborn child. One day that baby will be grown and will be able to read. What if he or she reads that article? How awful that would be as a child to read those words, written by your own mother. I can’t imagine.
There are many areas in my life that I don’t write about and never plan to. Some things are better left unsaid. I’ll admit that there have been moments when I’ve been tempted to write my feelings about this situation or that, but I’m always stopped by the thought, “What if the person I’m writing about reads this? How would that make them feel?”
It’s not my place to drag people through the mud, making them look bad. It’s also not my place to spread someone’s personal business all over the internet. And it’s certainly not wise to write something that will later hurt someone else.
If we’re careful, we can still write about these situations, but without revealing the person we’re referring to. We can use fake names and places. We can leave out specific details. We can even vent our frustrations or feelings in the form of a “fictional” story. Or we can use what I call ‘abstract writing’, which is my favorite.
Writing is great and it’s an excellent form of therapy, but we should use wisdom when we choose our topics and how we write about them. The saying “think before you speak” should also apply to writing.
Not everything needs be written down. Some things are better left unsaid.
Me - Who am I? 
I agree, every word, every image we share here or on any social media site is out there forever. I read so many posts, some I cringe and yet some need to be out there. We are blessed to have the choice on how much we share. I too have many challenging days, but I choose mostly to focus on the positive side of life.
Kath.
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I like how you mentioned that some need to be out there. Not everything that people write is going to be pleasant to read and it shouldn’t have to be. When we write about real problems and struggles, we help others to know that they are not alone. However, there is certainly a way to write those things and a way not to.
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Agreed
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Couldn’t agree more. Umfortunately we sometimes learn that lesson the hard way.
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That is true George.Hopefully, we only have to learn it once.
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This is something I’ve thought about a lot actually. There are just so many ways to communicate now and the world seems to be getting smaller each day it’s almost inevitable that someone you know will eventually read things we’ve posted online. I’m also very disturbed by the “need” I see of some people to constantly share such intimate feelings and details about their lives online. Privacy is one of those things that you’re not going to get back easily once it’s out there for the world to see, you know? I try very hard to keep that in mind with my own posting, not just to spare the feelings of others but also to maintain my own privacy. These are also things I’m trying to impress upon my son as he grows more and more to the place where he’ll be the one in control of what he shares online. A very tough battle with no real guidelines out there except those we make for ourselves……time to do some of our own thinking!
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You’re absolutely right about that. It’s not always about everyone else, but ourselves too. On an urge we may post something, only later to regret it because once it’s out there, it’s out there. We really should be mindful of what we write and consider what the consequences may be for now and in the future. I read a blog a once by a woman who spent each post exposing her husband’s most intimate life details. He found it. As you can imagine, it didn’t turn out well. So as you said – we must think.
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You hit the nail on its head once more. I would be mortified if I would have written something negative about a person and that person would read it eventually, knowing it’s all about him/her. Now with that post about the unborn baby… Imagine what it can trigger in this person??? Sad…
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Yes, same here. That would be terrible. In a moment we may be tempted to vent or to write to our heart’s content, but if we stop to consider the possible outcome, then I think we’ll not post many things that we would otherwise. I have a few drafts sitting in my box right now, that will stay right where they’re at. I agree with you about the baby. If that baby even remotely suffers from depression or goes through a rough patch during life, then those words could be detrimental. I’m sure the mother didn’t have bad intentions when she wrote it, but perhaps she should have thought about the future.
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Yep
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Amen. There are many things that are not for me to share (because of many reasons, one being that many things involve other people who I don’t have the right to divulge information about). If I am going to write about something that happens between me and another, I ask that person first. For example, when I wrote about my friend who came out, I sent it to him and got his permission first. And one of my reasons for writing is to leave behind things about me I want my kids/grands to have. I wouldn’t want to embarrass them or leave them shaking their heads. Or hurt them.
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Exactly. There are some things that we have no right writing about. Like you, I want people to be able to look back on my writing and get something good from it. I will admit though, that I do write about situations sometimes. It’s just done in a manner in which even the involved person would have no idea it was about them. Like you though, when I use specific details, I always ask for permission first. It’s good to write, but we should be careful in how we do it.
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I know, tonight I wrote about something that I want to express but I fear that it will so be taken wrongly. It’s my thoughts, and it isn’t negative. But is it something I even have any business writing about? So I hesitate.
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I went over to read it before commenting. I believe, in situations such as those, that it’s perfectly fine to share. No one would know who it’s about and even if he were to run across it, it’s filled with compassion and understanding. You wrote it well, with him in mind. Sometimes we have to write these posts for our therapeutic benefit yes, but to also help others who may be going through similar situations.
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Thank you MWAI. I do hope that in being honest about things I see, feel, interpret, someone else may have thoughts to share or feelings to express. ANd like you said, if someone else is needing to find something…I hope they do so. The comments are a great place to find such compassion and suggestions and just…kindness.
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I did feel bad for the baby but I do feel that once baby is born, the love of a mother will flow out of her.
I wrote a diary of my three living babies while in utero. I do feel they may enjoy my thoughts. I destroyed the two diaries of miscarriages, due to no need to keep them.
They will know me as I will recognize them up in Heaven. A country group in my local Ohio area sings a poignant song called, “There’s a Rocking Chair in Heaven.” They made me cry but u felt cleansed and renewed full of hope after I heard them. Thanks for your thought provoking post.
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I agree, or at least hope that the mother’s love will be easily seen and felt when the baby arrives. I think it’s wonderful to write diaries during our pregnancies about all that we go through, but perhaps it would be best to keep out the “I don’t really know if I want you” thoughts. Some things are better left unspoken. That sounds like a sweet song. I’m going to look that up. I am so sorry about your two miscarriages, but I know that they will be waiting for you with open arms.
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