We like each other because we’re family, but what if we weren’t? Would we still? This is a question that I have pondered on more than one occasion. Normally when a family member behaves wrongly toward another. At the end of my pondering I always come up with the same conclusion. Yes, I think we would.
Although sometimes my family members do things that make my blood boil, the good qualities that they have balance them out. Through all the bad, I can still see their heart. I remember the person who they used to be, back in the “old days”. So even though their behavior has changed and is often inexcusable, I can still see the person they are deep within.
Sometimes life has a way of toughening our outer layer, and although it’s invisible to the naked eye, there is still a soft center on the inside. We may just have to look deeper to find it.
Instead of focusing on a person’s actions, I try to see them. After all, it’s not the person I don’t like, it’s the choices that they make. We all make bad choices, but that doesn’t make us bad people.
I’m a firm believer that everyone has good in them and strive to see that in everyone that I encounter. Therefore, even with the most difficult family members, I try very hard to focus on the good in them, rather than on the bad.
So whether we grew up together or just met today, I think that we’d all get along just fine. The level of friendship between us would be similar to that which it is now. Some would be close and others not so much. Some would still make me smile and others would still frustrate me.
But they would all still be considered a friend.
This post is for the Daily Post prompt: Delayed Contact – How would you get along with your sibling(s), parent(s), or any other person you’ve known for a long time — if you only met them for the first time today?
Me - Who am I? 
Detaching a person from his actions, and seeing it in different slots, is a great ideal to work towards, though not easy to achieve. The actor and the action are really not the same, though seemingly so. The realisation of this truth and appropriate response to it, would be to advance towards divinity.
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You are right. It can be quite complex, but it is achievable. However, the ability to do so makes it possible for us to form and retain relationships that may otherwise be impossible.
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Everyone changes as life moves forward, even family. There is that old adage that you can choose your friends but not your family and because they’re family, hurts and disappointments can run much deeper. But at the end of the day, we are all still family.
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I agree. Family relationships are certainly more vulnerable, but also so very precious. That is, if and as long as we can see past each others flaws and love one another regardless.
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I love my family very much. That is the bond that holds us together. However, I have to admit that if we weren’t family I probably wouldn’t be friends. Our values and priorities in life are very different. I often felt a bit alien growing up!
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That’s a good point and I must agree with you on differing values and priorities. Some people can be very different from one another, even after growing up in the same household. Even so, as is with my family, I’ve come to appreciate their differences.
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I love your take on it. And it’s truly thought provoking. I wonder though, if you would really get along with them too if you would only meet them and meet the side you don’t like? Without knowing the other side. Without having the history you have with them. Without knowing how they influenced your life… I looked at it from that perspective in my post. Having said that: If we would only meet them today we might also not get to see their bad side. So we probably would become friends… And just like that this could go on and on and on 😉
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That is an excellent question. If I were to meet the worst of them during our first meeting, then I can’t say that I would like them. It’s almost a guarantee that they wouldn’t become my friend. With that said, that reminds me of how fake first impressions can be. We almost always show our best side, but what’s lurking in the background? Then again, sometimes that first impression, for as long as it lasts, helps us to overlook the bad that comes later.
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Indeed…
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I was just talking to my aunt this evening. I told her that I cannot think of one single family member (and it’s quite an extensive family) that I don’t like. Blessings, for sure. I think I’d like them all no matter what. 🙂
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Excellent timing. 🙂 That is a blessing. Many people, unfortunately, are unable to say the same.
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I’ve learned this over the years. I feel bad for so many families. To not have that, when I know it’s strength, makes me sad.
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You are a wise compassionate person.
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Thank you, April. I try…and sometimes fail miserably.
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