Children – Paying for Their Parent’s Choices

sad boy

The young boy and his grandmother happily entered the fun center. Hand in hand, they approached a young woman in her low 20’s who was standing with her boyfriend. The young woman reached down to hug the boy, who hesitantly hugged her back.

A short time later the family was standing in line making small talk, while the boy played beside them. The young woman reached down to interact with him and he quickly moved away from her. She snapped, “What’s wrong with you?” He didn’t answer, which made her even more upset. “Is this because you barely get to see me?”

Her anger was clearly heard in her voice and her eyes stared down, piercing through him. He backed away further. “Whatever!” she said loudly as she turned away from him.

As a bystander, I’ll never know what brought the family to that point and frankly it’s none of my business. But my heart broke for that little boy, who couldn’t have been older than four. What most likely started out as excitement to see his mother, ended in sadness, disappointment and blame being placed on him.

I’m sure that his mother loves him, or else she wouldn’t have gone there to spend time with him. But what he needed, was to be shown that love. Instead of a happy, fun-filled day with his mother, all he experienced was arguing, anger and yelling. Had she put her own issues to the side for a couple of hours and given him the positive attention that he needed, the day would have ended with happy memories instead of hurtful ones.

Many times we get angry over the choices we make and we take that anger out on others; usually on those who are closest to us. It’s not that we’re angry at them. We’re angry and disappointed in ourselves. This is something that can only be corrected when we face our issues and see ourselves for who we truly are.

I have no doubt that this is what the young woman was experiencing, as the hurt and disappointment in herself was evident in her behavior. Unfortunately however, she is not the only one hurting. Her son is too.

In life bad choices are often made, marriages end, and couples separate, but no matter what the situation may be, it’s not our children’s fault and they should never have to pay for our choices.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Children – Paying for Their Parent’s Choices

  1. George says:

    Couldn’t agree more. Unfortunately, children are usually hurt the most because if adult frustrations.

    Like

  2. I see this time and time again. Unfortunately it hits close to home with a particular family member. They want so much to be loved yet they push no shove the ones away that they want love from. So difficult to watch and hard on everyone involved

    Like

  3. Hopefully the woman will figure it out before it’s too late.

    Like

  4. DailyMusings says:

    Totally agree and have seen first hand what happens when a parent selfishly puts their own needs before what is the right thing to do for their children.

    Like

  5. April says:

    It makes me cringe when I hear a mother talk to her children in this manner. I remember things I heard so very long ago, and if every parent understood that some of their comments may have such a lasting affect, maybe they could learn to be a bit more compassionate.

    Like

    • mewhoami says:

      I agree and I think that if we all would think before we speak then we would keep from hurting many people. Unfortunately, our mouths often move before our brains do. Kids need our love, not our attitudes.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. This is such a common and sad story. These little ones are learning whether the world is loving or dangerous, whether people can be trusted and should be feared. They are little sponges, learning through these interactions how to handle or mishandle anger and stress. Hopefully that little boy has other people in his life who will model healthy feelings and relationships.

    Like

    • mewhoami says:

      You are right about that. People often forget that we are children’s examples and they will repeat our behavior, both good and bad. It appeared that his grandmother was a responsible, loving woman, so hopefully he’s in good hands the majority of the time.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Rajagopal says:

    As part of growing up, the little boy will in due time realise that the mother was venting a frustration, and not really angry with him, that life is a saga of happiness and disappointments, arising from success and failure, good and bad situations. And advancing still further, it will also dawn on him that life is a distance to be travelled, without getting bogged down at any stage. Of course, such an event, while it is happening, is hard on the kid and the people around, which cannot be helped.

    Like

    • mewhoami says:

      I do hope that he realizes that, and also understands that it is not his fault. Unfortunately though, it is likely that what he endures today will help to mold his character and sometimes that’s not a good thing. Then again, we can and must be stronger than our circumstances.

      Like

  8. MeWhoAmI….I’ve seen this so often. You put in to words the reality of so many children. At some point ‘we’ as adults and parents have to put our pains and angers away/aside and do what’s right for the child/ren. The poor little boy, that moment is stuck in my heart too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mewhoami says:

      That’s true. We all got through things, but our children shouldn’t be the sounding boards of those frustrations. Our kids need to enjoy ‘their’ life, not be bogged down with the ‘ours’.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. reocochran says:

    I am so glad you pointed out both sides of this situation. Also, how you showed how we need to take the child’s feelings into a higher level of concern. After all, he is only a child. Sad to witness this and be unable to help the parties involved to reach out and bond. This broke a piece of my heart. 😦

    Like

    • mewhoami says:

      Thank you. I try always to keep in mind that there is more to every story than what we see. It’s a sad situation for everyone involved and like you said, so difficult to not be able to help.

      Like

Please share your thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s