Be Authentic – Lesson From My Autistic Son

real

My son is who he is, never pretends to be anyone he’s not, and never fakes a smile. He doesn’t laugh at jokes that are not funny, nor does he lie to make others happy. He doesn’t befriend someone out of obligation, or help others just to be seen. He doesn’t follow the crowd in order to be popular, or liked.

He’s never put on a facade in front of others to hide his sadness, frustrations, or disinterest. He’s not concerned with first impressions, nor does his character change depending on who he’s with. He’s the same in private, as he is in public.

With him, what you see is what you get. I deeply admire his authenticity, for it is a rare find.

How about you – Are you always genuine? Do you own separate masks for separate occasions?

What would the world be like if we were all this real?

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24 Responses to Be Authentic – Lesson From My Autistic Son

  1. We can learn much from our kids and those wonderful kids as always are true to themselves. I try to be the same no matter where I am or with whom, it is so much more easy. I learned the same by watching mine 😉

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  2. tric says:

    The freedom to be exactly who you are. There is a lot to be said for living like your son. Great observations. I hope he continues to thrive.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mewhoami says:

      Freedom – that’s exactly what it is. To live without fear of rejection (in any form) would be very freeing. That would explain perhaps why he’s almost never stressed or upset.

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  3. My beautiful boy tells me I look like a boy, when I cut my hair short. I do look like boy and I smile every time he says it. He also says to the hairdresser every time he goes…don’t make me look bald. He can be so predictable and yet he surprises me on a daily basis. People don’t understand the beauty of having someone who will always tell you what he is thinking and I have learnt so much seeing the world though his eyes. Like you Im sure.

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    • mewhoami says:

      His honesty is much appreciated, I’m sure. It’s nice when we know that the words someone speaks to us will be truth, rather than half-truths for the sake of being polite. I love my son’s honesty! Like you, I have learned so much from him. Lessons that very few others could have taught me.

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  4. Doobster418 says:

    I wish I could say that I was the same person all the time. But I’m not. I am very professional when I’m around work associates and/or clients. I am very different, more relaxed and easy going, around family and friends. And I’m even different here on my blog than I am in the real world. I don’t know that that means I’m not genuine in any of those situations, or that I wear masks to hide who I am or to appear to be someone I’m not. But I think most of us behave differently, interact differently, and respond differently depending upon the situation and who we are with.

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    • mewhoami says:

      In regard to our behavior, there is a time and place for everything. Your relaxed self may not be appreciated very much at work, and your work self would almost certainly not be appreciated around your friends. 🙂 I tend to be rather dry in front of most people, but the person I am at home is quite the opposite. Also, like you, I am definitely different here on my blog than in my ‘real’ life. In some ways the real me is shown here more than anywhere else. Like you said, I think we all behave differently sometimes.

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  5. I try to be – but sometimes you do have to put on the fake face. Oddly (or not) my fake face seems to always be when I feel that I need to put on makeup. At least he won’t have that rubbish to worry about!

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    • mewhoami says:

      I’m not sure why women have been conditioned to believe that we need makeup. Men (most men) don’t wear it and they look perfectly fine, naturally handsome. Women have natural beauty too. It’s just that we’ve been taught to believe otherwise. I suppose most women like the added boost of confidence, although that added confidence actually causes more insecurities. Anyway, that’s a topic for whole other post, huh? 🙂 Yes, I am so glad that he doesn’t have to worry about that.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I really love how you take a situation that isn’t the most ideal situation and view it as something good that you (and the rest of us) should be mimicking. That’s quite a gift you have and though you’re learning from your son, he was produced by you, so give yourself that credit too! 🙂

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  7. DailyMusings says:

    I think it is important to be “authentic” to be true to the person you are, and to be honest, but not at the expense of another’s feelings. If we all went around saying what we were really thinking when someone asked “how does my new haircut look” or looking disinterested when sitting with people in conversation, I think we would end up alone a lot of the time.

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    • mewhoami says:

      Excellent points you’ve made here. You’re right in that we should be careful about just how honest we are. We certainly don’t want to hurt people, however if they really want the truth I will give it to them. If I had a bad haircut, I’d want someone to tell me. Truth can be a wonderful thing, but yes, we do need to be careful with how we use it. Disinterested people wouldn’t be invited to many gatherings, that’s for sure. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Yeah… I’m still working on being me… and becoming me. But, yes, I tend to act differently around different people in my life. In the past, though, I though it was a different mask I put on, but now I’m beginning to realize, I’m not two dimensional, I have different sides to me, and I love that I get have people in my life that allow me to express all of the sides of me! Just not all at the same time! 🙂

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    • mewhoami says:

      That’s a great way to put it. We do have many sides to our personalities. It’s great when we can express them. I always say that each person knows a part of me, but no one knows all of me.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. April says:

    Oh how wonderful it would be. I wear a mask to hide my depressive episodes, otherwise just as I am on here, I am to the world. Inside my own mind, I say a few more cuss words than I speak out loud.

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  10. Glynis Jolly says:

    No, I’m not always genuine. I will lie to keep someone happy. I will put on a happy face mask when I’m sad, angry, or frustrated. More often than not, I wish I could be more like your son. Half the things that clutter my mind would disappear.

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    • mewhoami says:

      I second everything you said, as I do all of this too. We keep so much buried inside because of this reason and I think that this pretending does much more harm than good sometimes, at least on a personal, mental level.

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  11. jaklumen says:

    I could say many of the same things about my son with autism. He can be rough, but it’s very apparent that he has a sensitive and sweet personality. I think that’s the challenge; is empowering him to maintain that gentleness with the frustration he natually faces.

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    • mewhoami says:

      I’ve found that kids with special needs can be some of the most genuine and sweet people around. It’s great that you’re helping him to manage his emotions. That will be very valuable as he continues to grow older.

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