Gentlemen: Rare and Unappreciated

gentleman

I am fully capable of opening my own door, taking out my own trash and carrying my own grocery bags. I don’t need a man to do those things for me. But when they do or even offer to do so, I am grateful. Why would I not be?

A person, whether male or female, who goes out of their way to do something for another should be appreciated. They shouldn’t be scolded or frowned upon for being courteous. Offering to help someone doesn’t mean that that person thinks that the other is incapable or unequal to them. It simply means that they want to help and care enough to do so.

As we look around, it’s not difficult to see that politeness is becoming a lost art, and rarely do we see gentleman anymore. It is more common to see a man closing a door in a woman’s face, than to see him hold it open for her. It is more common to see a man walking with a phone in his hand, while his wife is loaded down with a child in a car seat, grocery bags, and a diaper bag thrown over her shoulder, than it is to see him sharing the load.

Because of that, when a man offers to help we should be thankful. We certainly shouldn’t be offended. Back in the day, men were taught chivalry from a young age and by the example of their fathers. Now days, I’m not exactly sure what they’re taught, but in most cases it’s not chivalry.

Sadly, some men who were taught this soon become hesitant to offer their help because of the negative reactions that they get when they do. One thing, among many, that I don’t understand about some women is that they get offended when men try to help them, but it is perfectly acceptable when another woman does. In both situations the person is being polite, so what’s the difference?

Personally, I appreciate anyone who is thoughtful enough to consider those around them. So on that note…

To women who offer their help to others – thank you. Your kindness is greatly appreciated.

To all those gentlemen out there – please don’t let negative responses stop you from being courteous to women. There are many of us who still appreciate it.

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35 Responses to Gentlemen: Rare and Unappreciated

  1. feverdreams says:

    I completely agree with you – chivalry and helpfulness are wonderful and underappreciated qualities. However, I do want to point out that many feminists are not against that: I consider myself an ardent feminist yet I love it when a man opens the door for me. And I am not the only one to feel that way.

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  2. I know I don’t advertise the fact but my husband and myself chose a bdsm lifestyle. Many instantly believe this involves him controlling me and beating me. It does not. It is more as you say here. He is the man of the relationship and so shows this respect for me. Opening doors, pulling out my seat and doing all he can to protect me. I think it is a great thing for a man to show respect to a woman however he sees fitting. Its a shame there are so many out there too quick to judge and demean his manners.

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    • mewhoami says:

      I personally believe that that is how it should be. The man should be the protector of the family and honor his wife. That’s what chivalry is – honoring women. It’s not meant to make a woman feel less than a man, but instead to show them that they are honored and appreciated. It’s good to hear that your husband is this way and that you let him be.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Claudiu C. says:

    My theory is that chivalry is not dead, but instead there are more guys that lack vision. If you don’t see yourself as a gentleman how can you act like one?
    For many 20 something guys being a gentleman is not cool, it’s antiquated.

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    • mewhoami says:

      You are right about that. Many men no longer know what being a gentleman is, and some have been taught that women prefer the rough type of guy instead. However, I believe that most women want and would greatly appreciate having a gentleman by their side.

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  4. sweetpea2love says:

    I agree with you in saying it’s becoming a lost art. Someone who’s name shall remain nameless asked me the other day if she should expect a car door to be opened for her. My response was if they don’t know your expectations and perhaps were never taught such things, how are they going to know, unless you expect the same kindness you give to others on a regular basis. So, she waited by the car door, until he figured it out for himself. Let’s try to bring back kindness, and respect for the person in front of those Wall-mart (or insert any stores) doors to just take 1 mere second to hold it open, before it slams into our faces.

    Happy New Year !
    Take care and happy blogging to ya… 🙂

    P.S. if that’s done anymore…. I’m re blogging your wonderful enlightening post here today.. hugs ❤

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    • mewhoami says:

      If a person has never been taught to behave in such a way, then you’re right, how would they know what the other person expects of them. However, if they have been taught it then they would do it without a second thought. I completely agree with you about holding the doors open for people. I have a tendency of giving them a sarcastic “thanks” when they let it slam in my face. Likewise, when they don’t say thank you after I hold it open for them, a sarcastic, “you’re welcome.” What happened to manners and kindness? We should bring it back.

      Thank you so much for the reblog! I appreciate that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • sweetpea2love says:

        Thank you for your response. One small ripple at a time, and we can make a difference…(I hope) because it’s never too late … Hugs and it was my up most pleasure to re-blog your wonderful post … 🙂

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  5. sweetpea2love says:

    Reblogged this on Is it really that easy? and commented:
    Please, take a moment to view this wonderful post, and let’s start a kindness ripple effect across the lands, or at least WordPress bloggers.. hugs and Thanking you all kindly … ❤

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  6. great thoughts. Kindness from anyone should be noted and thanked.

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  7. Rookienotes says:

    I love Gentlemen. I appreciated this post ❤

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  8. Georgia Mom says:

    Great post! Happy New Year! 🙂

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  9. Be it man or woman, someone who holds a door open for me gets a genuine thank you. And I will do the same for others, and do so as a courtesy and kindness. It’s humanity not gender based. Well said !

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  10. Never have. Never will. 🙂

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  11. Hear! Hear! I am all in favor of chivalrous men…and women who appreciate them! Come to think of it I’m in favor of chivalrous women, too, so they can feel free to hold the door for me. 🙂

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  12. This is so true. I have two boys. I am wondering how they will embrace the value of chivalry in a rude setting. =<

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  13. April says:

    I don’t mind the door opening and the taking out of the garbage. My problem is impatience waiting for them to do so. 🙂

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  14. suzjones says:

    Yes. I wish that people would continue to show kindness to others. I love that although the GG doesn’t open car doors for me, he offers to carry shopping bags when we are out and about or to take them to the car so that we aren’t burdened by them. Kindness in any form should be appreciated and honoured rather than ridiculed and berated.

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