Have you ever been wrong? Do you have faults? Of course you do! Well, hopefully you do. If not, then you may want to stop reading here because this is about people like you. On second thought, keep reading so that readers can get your opinion too.
No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws and everyone is wrong sometimes. So why does it seem that only a small number of people can see their own faults?
These people either believe that they are right all the time, or they justify their actions in order to place the blame elsewhere.
“You cannot change what you refuse to confront.”
Have you ever known someone to be absolutely wrong about something, yet they refuse to see it? This can be applicable in both words and actions.
Their perspective on a specific situation could be skewed, but they’re not willing to listen to others. They may treat others badly, but regularly justify it in any way possible. They may cheat and take from others, but have convinced themselves that they are owed. The list could go on and on.
Whatever they do that is wrong, the one thing we know is that we can’t change people. In order for a person to change, they must be willing and ready to do so on their own.
But, what if they can’t even see what they’re doing wrong? What if everything they do is right and justified in their own eyes? How then will they ever change? Is it even possible?
A person not willing to see their own faults wouldn’t be a big deal if it only effected them. But when others are involved and are personally effected by it, then it does become an issue?
In those situations what do you do? Wait and see? Try using reverse psychology? Cry and plead with them? Make them believe that the change is their idea? Change ourselves, hoping that in return they will change also?
Dealing with someone like this can be difficult and frustrating for anyone, no matter what the situation may be.
How do you handle people who refuse to see their own faults? Or those who justify every one of their actions, regardless of how wrong they may be?
Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow and commented:
Some people, but not many, i agree with be willing to see their own faults, and put it right, but some wont even admit they could be wrong. I call this narcissism. They will make their point to be right at every turn, even in the face of truth. They will create an issue from nothing, just to prove their point. They will lie, cheat and abuse others to prove their point too.
I know i am not perfect, i never pretended to be, but i am a decent human being, who knows her own mind. I am stubborn yes, and i am a strong woman, but i can admit it when i am wrong, and i can move on, and use that experience as a life lesson. Pity others cannot seem to do that. Nice blog sugar, i enjoy your blogs.
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Yes, narcissism is a good word for it. I wonder though, do people even realize that they are this way? It baffles me how someone can honestly believe that they are right all the time. How is that possible?
Like you, I know that I am not perfect; far from it. But, I can certainly see my faults and work to change them. Aren’t we supposed to become better people over the years, rather than remain the same forever? Thank you for your kind words and for the reBlog. Both are greatly appreciated.
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No thank you for writing this. Most people dont think the same as we do. I know some who are so bad at not seeing their own faults, they have lost every single friend they ever had, just to prove they were right. How very sad for them.
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I am very far from perfect but I will admit I am wrong and have but when I run into these sorts of folks I just go the other way. If you are so convinced you are right that you won’t even entertain another point of view what is the use of someone arguing with you? It is better to let them live in their ignorance.
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Going the other way is a great idea, unless a person can’t or shouldn’t. There are some situations where one shouldn’t turn the other way. But if at all possible, I certainly agree with you. Also, to leave them to their own is sometimes the best way for them to learn.
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Some people you just can’t get through to. You have to pick your battles sometime.
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I try to stay far away from them. If I do need to be around them I just stay quiet, and move away as soon as I can.
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Staying silent is a good way to avoid the situation. I often do the same. Unfortunately silence doesn’t solve anything, but it is easier than a conversation that will go nowhere.
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That is it exactly.
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People who never ever admit they’re wrong tend to drift away from others, in my experience any way. When they are caught up in situations where they are not receiving the accolades for being right all of the time. I don’t like being aggressive with people I don’t agree with, and heaven knows I”M not always right. But I am learning to be assertive when I feel a need to be. I’ve discovered that those who don’t mind discussing things, whether they are right or wrong, stick around for those discussions. Those who don’t like those discussions, back out of them, or avoid the discussions all together.
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That is true, and sometimes people drift away from them. It’s hard to be around people like that. It’s good that you’ve learned to be assertive when necessary. You’re right though, sometimes people will stick around to hear you out and other times they’ll run. I for one, greatly appreciate those who are open for the discussion, regardless of whether they agree or not. Those people we can work with. The others, not so much.
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The “not so much” s can happily wonder away!!!
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I’ll try to help them see what I believe to be right, for a while. If I can’t convince them, it’s time for me to leave the subject alone in their presence.
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That sounds reasonable. We can only do so much. Sometimes we have to learn to walk away from a topic and hope for the best.
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I change my reaction to them. I don’t let them bother me in other words. Change only comes within.
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Good point. They can only effect us if we allow them to.
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I had this conversation with my First Born the other day, the morning after she had had dinner with her in-laws. She told me that they would ask her opinion on things and then shoot her down if she disagreed with their what their version of the truth was. She said that at the end of the night she had had enough and when she commented to one that you can’t choose your family, they responded with “But you chose us”. Her reply was “No. I chose (my husband). The rest of you just came with the package”.
I must say that listening to her (and knowing her in-laws also) I found it hard to stick to my ‘speak kindly’ challenge.
What do you do when you are perfect? I don’t know because I’ve never met a perfect person yet.
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I must say it would be hard for me to stick with ‘speak kindly’ too. With that said, good for her for being straight up with them by telling them that she in fact did *not* choose *them*. I feel for her having to deal with them, as that cannot be easy. It’s hard talking to people that require everything said to be of their same opinion and mindset. Like you, I’ve yet to meet a perfect person either, only a few pretenders.
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