Are you a rule keeper or breaker? Does it depend on the rule or the circumstances? For example, this morning I entered a medical office which had a large sign posted on the door that read “Turn off all cell phones.” I’ll admit that I didn’t turn mine off, but I did put it away.
In the seat across from me however, there was a woman loudly talking on hers. At first I thought it was a business call, but soon I was overhearing stories about her son, his hardships, his college enrollment and his goals. Great that he has goals, but I think she overlooked the sign.
On the other side of the room was an older gentleman who was having a mental fit over her lack of rule keeping.
The more she talked, the more he glared at her. Finally, when he could take it no more, he shouted across the room to the receptionist “These people didn’t read the sign!”
The lady, who I know had to have heard him, kept talking until the nurse called her name. Quickly hanging up the phone, she grabbed her things and apologized to the nurse that her multi-tasking was delaying her.
The man then angrily shouted again, “That’s why we’re not supposed to have cell phones in here!” In a sarcastic tone, the woman shouted back “Sorry!”, then followed the nurse through the door.
If you want a laugh, check out what could have happened…
What rules do we apply?
It was entertaining, but also got me thinking about all the rules we apply and which ones we break.
Speed limits for example. Does anyone abide by the speed limit all the time? I don’t. Although it’s usually only 5-10 over the posted speed limit, I do occasionally speed.
“Turn all electronic devices off,” the flight attendant says. Do we obey that command right away or do we keep them on until the very last second?
“Pepper spray/mace is not allowed as a carry on.” After approximately 8 times of flying with mine tucked away inside of my purse, I finally decided to keep that rule. Unfortunately, I don’t feel nearly as safe now when I use deserted airport restrooms in the middle of the night.
Unspoken Rules
Then there’s the unspoken rules, such as “put your shopping cart away.” That should be fairly easy for anyone to do, but few do it. Why is that?
“Don’t litter.” There are trash cans everywhere. If there isn’t one nearby, then can they not just take the trash with them? Why throw it on the ground for someone else to pick up?
“Pick up after your pets.” People shouldn’t have to walk in your dog’s poo. Someone created little to-go bags for that specific purpose. You can even choose your own colors and designs.
There are many rules. Simple ones, important ones and then the unspoken ones.
How do you decide which ones to keep and which ones not to? Are you a rule keeper or breaker?
Me - Who am I? 
I am far more a rules keeper than breaker, Me Who. Except for the 5 mph over thing, even 10 if I’m on a long trip. I don’t quite know why I excuse myself for that. Otherwise, I’d be the gent fuming at the woman disturbing the peace of the whole waiting room because she thought the posted No Cell rule was not important enough for her. I even speak out for unspoken rules. I recently was a a movie theater in which somebody was loudly eating food. Thump-thump-thump, repeatedly, with some sort of container, as the feature film played. Finally, after the fourth or fifth time, I stated firmly but not nasty, “Enough with that noise.” And they stopped. Blissfully.
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Mark, that is a great way to be. I don’t know why speeding is the hard one to keep under control either. Maybe we’re just so used to doing it, that it doesn’t feel like we’re breaking the law? Plus, if everyone else is passing us then we become an accident waiting to happen. It was rather inconsiderate of the woman on the phone. My thought was that she felt ‘she’ was too important for the rule. Good for you for getting on the theater eater. That is very annoying. It costs way too much to go the movies only to have it ruined by eaters, cell phone talkers and general talkers. 🙂 I’m glad the person took your ‘request’ well.
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I guess I am a rule keeper. Some I break. I feel a lot of rules have to do with respect and that is something important to me. So I make sure to follow them. And they have to make sense as well.
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I agree with you there. Respect and common courtesy is the reason for many rules that we are given. For that reason, they shouldn’t be too difficult to keep. Some rules don’t make sense. For those I suppose we must decide if they are worth keeping regardless. Most rules won’t hurt us.
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I have been known to stray off public bridle ways. And cycle on footpaths. I once strayed a little, enjoying a fantastic trail, until I spotted a ladder and platform in a tree with two guys holding high velocity rifles in my direction. They were culling deer. Luckily they had good eyesight. We had a discussion during which I mumbled some rubbish and agreed that I would exit the private woods by the quickest means possible and never come back again. Ever.
I don’t trespass much these days.
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Ah, the thrill of venturing off the path. What an experience that must have been. I’m glad they took the time to see you instead of automatically firing off. Your story could have been much different.
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Indeed! I learnt a lesson well!
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I am an unspoken rule keeper much more than a posted rule keeper. While I generally believe rules are put in place for our well-being I agree with amammasview – they require both logic and respect. I’ll try very hard to understand the purpose and value of a rule but if I can’t? I’m far more likely to break it. I think that’s why I get so upset when people break the unspoken rules. Unspoken rules are most always based on the ideas of common sense and mutual respect. It baffles me when others don’t see it that way.
How about you? Where do you fall on the spectrum?
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Not understanding why a rule has been put into place, is the reason why people choose to break them, I think. But, the unspoken rules should never be broken. They are usually the most simple to keep, having been formed from the ideas of common courtesy and respect.
I would consider myself a rule keeper, with a couple small exceptions (speeding being one of them). Unspoken rules, I always try to keep. There’s no reason not to.
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I’m a rule follower 😉
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Good! It’s good to be a keeper of the rules.
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I keep more than I break- and I have been known to tell someone(not ask) to get off their cell phone in a waiting room- I have no tolerance for that rule breaking!!:-)
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You are braver than me. I’ve never been able to bring myself to call a stranger out for their actions. Not saying I haven’t wanted to though.
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Comes with age- this just happened a few months ago while I was waiting to go for a colonoscopy- starving, no coffee and a woman sat there yakking away, I gave her 3 minutes and then told her the sign said no cell phones, she was inconsiderate and should take it out into the hall. She left and the other people waiting applauded. 🙂
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That’s funny. Good for you for saying what everyone else was too timid to say. I would have loved to had seen that.
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Not that I have never broken rules….but I try very much to be rule keeper. Things just go smoother for me and those around me if we all do what we “should”. It also gives us more freedoms in the long run.
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I agree. We lose many freedoms because of rule breaking, which is disappointing since most rules are so easy to keep.
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I am a big believer in the rules, and knowing the rules so that you know how to break them 🙂
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Ha! That just took me back to my childhood days of carefully walking around the rules, so that they could be broken without anyone noticing. I’m a big believer in rules too.
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I simply practice the Golden Rule. The rest of society’s endless obsession with rules is one I view on a case by case basis. Most often, civility and common sense ‘rules’ gain my support and adherence.
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The Golden Rule is the most important of them all. It is also the easiest, yet the one that many seem to forget. I understand your viewing the others on an individual basis, as there are some which are questionable and at times unreasonable.
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I break very few rules and even at that, it depends on the circumstances. Some of the rules I follow most would find unnecessary. I just find life easier if I follow them.
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Some rules do depend on the circumstances. I’m much the same way. I keep some rules that others don’t understand too, but you’re right that it’s easier that way.
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Love the little video you included!! I am more of a rule keeper, just like an orderly peaceful life I guess. I am always interested in the “mental rulebook” each of us has in our heads, the unspoken rules you refer to. We all have them and pull them out whenever one is broken, stressful for those who don’t know those rules!
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Thanks go to my sister for telling me about it. 🙂 It is funny! I’ve never heard of it called that, but the mental handbook is a fitting name. We all know what to do. It’s just whether we do it or not. It makes life so much easier to stick to the rules.
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I think I fall into the rules keeper category…though I will admit there are moments. One of the things I also try to impress on my son is that keeping rules is good and right, but there are times when you need to “tailor” them just a bit and step out of the box to make little adjustments. I don’t want a robot child, you know? I want him to make the world work for him too and not just blindly accept every little thing that he’s told and get so hung up on the fine print, if you know what I mean….nothing illegal of course, just some minor adjustments…(i.e. Yes, you should be quiet in class and respectful, but if there is an emergency, it is okay to speak out of turn, etc.)
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I understand what you’re saying. Even though we should primarily be rule followers, there may also be a time and place when certain rules must be broken (or tailored). People who take risks are often the ones who become leaders and make the differences that we see in the world. If no one stepped out of the box, then nothing would ever change.
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The older I get, the more I feel compelled to be a rule follower! Although, I also have less inhibition about questioning rules that don’t make sense!
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I commend your courage to speak up about questionable rules. Some can be unreasonable. But, it’s good that you are generally a rule keeper. It’s easier and better that way, I believe.
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Your story about the notice “Turn off all cell phones.”, brought back a memory for me. Sixteen years ago my husband was a palliative patient in our local hospice. He was in a four bedded room and all four patients were receiving their pain relief through syringe drivers at a set measured release rate. One afternoon when a nurse was checking the drivers, she asked if anyone had been using a mobile phone in the room. Yes, A gentleman visitor had made a rather long call without the courtesy of leaving the room. That act caused all four syringe drivers to run slow, and the patients were not obtaining the desired even flow of pain relief. We should not need to be asked to switch off or turn the devices to flight mode when in the company of others, good manners should tells to respect our common space.
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That’s terrible. I had no idea that cell phones could have that effect on medical equipment. That’s a scary bit of knowledge, but important and good to know. They have signs posted for a reason and we should abide by them, whether we understand why or not. I agree about good manners. That applies to many rules, spoken and unspoken.
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Completely a rule follower. Not that I always have been,,,when I was young I broke a few. Speeding? Did it more than I should have, got caught, didn’t do it again. I may make a 5 over but that’s about it. As far as unspoken or requests made by an office, I follow what would annoy me and I don’t do it. No wonder I’m so anxious. 😉
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I think it’s good to be a rule follower. It may cause anxiety, but think of all the anxiety that would be felt as a rule breaker. The guilt, hiding, lying, etc. It’s so much easier to just do right.
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I am a rule keeper “most” of the time. As far as cell phone use in public places, I will tell people that “they may not be aware of it, but it is considered to be impolite to use one’s cell phone in public.” Works like a charm…
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Cate, I wish I had the courage to tell people that. Using cell phones in public closed-in places is very inconsiderate. I’m happy to know that they listen to you and that it works. Usually I just stare them down, which rarely works. 🙂
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I think it is a little simplistic to categorise people into either rule keeper, or rule breaker. You make an interesting point in one of your questions which alludes to this.
“How do you decide which ones to keep and which ones not to?”
With that said, sure, i break rules, i also follow some. I also see a large grey space between said rules… Perhaps a better question here is what value do you see in the rules you do follow? Surely, anyone with half a mind of their own chooses not to follow certain rules as they add no value to their lives, other peoples lives, or society in general.
Just putting my two cents in. 🙂
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The title “Which Rules Apply to You?” was a pretty open ended question, not placing anyone into a category. There may be a few people who keep all the rules, but for the majority of us there are certain ones that we do not. As you said, some rules have no value. However, there are many that do, such as those based off of common courtesy and respect. Those are the ones that everyone should follow.
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Indeed! 🙂
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I am one who follows reasonable rules. There have been times, throughout history, where laws or rules were definitely meant to be ‘broken,’ take the Boston Tea Party, water fountains and buses where signs or messages were given, “No Coloreds Allowed.” I am also one who has helped someone to get farther ahead by telling them a way to get around a rule. I am definitely not known for my law-breaking, but I am known for taking a stand… I love the poster I had on my college dorm wall, “Behold the turtle. He only moves forward by sticking his neck out.”
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You are absolutely right about times past. There were many laws and rules that needed to be broken in order for much needed changes to be made. The same is true today in some cases. It is good that you are not afraid to take a stand when the time comes that you must. Too many people are, and that’s why change is slow to happen, if at all sometimes. That’s a great poster! So much truth.
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