We meet people everyday and it is easy to look at them as if they are ‘just another person.’ What we seem to forget however, is that every person has a story. No one is ordinary.
Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours. ~ unknown
When we see people as ordinary, then we fail to understand them. As a result, we tend to be critical of their choices, words and actions. We’ve all heard the saying, “You never truly know someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.”
We like to say, “If I were them then I would…” But, how do we know what we would do if we were them? We don’t. We’re not them.
First impressions can sometimes be the worst. Not everyone leaves a good first impression. They may be dealing with the pain of losing a loved one, or having recently been diagnosed with an incurable disease. Or, they could simply be having a bad day. We’ve all had those, and if people were to meet us on those days, would we have a left a good first impression?
Everyone has a current situation that they are facing. No one’s life is perfect. Recently, I wrote about a woman’s poor treatment toward a cashier at a local store. Why did the lady behave the way she did? It’s easy to say that she was just being rude. She really was, but why was she being rude?
Could it be that she was going through something in her life? Something that was weighing so heavy on her, that she couldn’t seem to separate herself from it when dealing with others face to face?
Sometimes the situations we endure are too difficult to escape, and without intending to we share that pain with others.
Since we don’t know everyone’s story and we haven’t walked a mile in their shoes, then they should be given a fair chance. We should have compassion and understanding toward others. If we take the time to try understand them, then we may find that there is much more to them than what we first saw.
We meet no ordinary people in our lives. If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer. ~ unknown
“Typing my heart out” for Nano Poblano/NaBloPoMo.
Me - Who am I? 
Trying to look at things from the perspective of others helps me. We never know, do we? Those are the times others could use some goodwill.
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Agreed. One nice word or good deed could be exactly what they need at that moment.
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I agree 100 percent w your message here. To realize that “everyone has a story” helps me to grow in compassion. Thanks for the insight!
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Louise, thank you. It does help to see others from a different perspective. There is usually much more to be seen, than what we see.
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That is a great perspective, mewhoami. Ask questions and really listen when we think we are too busy is a great start, you are right. Happy Thanksgiving.
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Thanks Mark. I know that I’d like to be given a chance, so why not give that same chance to others, right? Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
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Hmm. I can make excuses or think of scenarios for a while, maybe a week or so, sometimes even a month, but when someone’s nasty for years at a time I have a problem. I used to work with the same grumpy person all day every day. I’m sure he had a story too, but he wasn’t a pleasure to be around. Except maybe I’m really not good enough at asking questions and listening….
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It’s sad that some people just are that way. Why would a person be grumpy all the time? There has to be something in their life that they like, or at least one would hope. I’m sure his story would have told all, but then again as you said he wasn’t a pleasure to be around. Some people, regardless of their story, we have to separate ourselves from; from their negativity.
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Yes! This is so true. And so often the stories are fascinating. One of my favorite websites/FB pages is Humans of New York. Brandon has captured this very sentiment with the extraordinary gift he has of photographing and eliciting pieces of people’s story…if you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend! http://www.humansofnewyork.com
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Yes, some can be very fascinating and we can learn so much through them. Thank you for sharing that link. I scrolled through the first page and already know that I will enjoy looking over the site more. It really is neat that he captures people in their settings, as individuals.
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Oh MeWhoAmI, I’ve contemplated these things in the oddest ways. If we’re on a long car drive and we pass someone, me looking out of the passenger side window in to the car we pass, seeing the driver and/or passengers….. I think “these people have lives I know nothing about”. And it amazes me that there is a world beyond my scope of knowing. I imagine where they are going and the world that exists for them that I know nothing about.
And the bitterness in others….I sometimes wonder so many scenarios. And end up feeling sympathy or sorrow for someone I don’t know at all…who doesn’t come across very nice.
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I do the same thing! Always looking around imagining the stories of others. What they’re thinking as they’re driving, where they just left and where they’re heading. Who are they driving to go see. There is such an amazing world of people out there, with so many stories and so much to teach through them. It is fascinating indeed!
It’s interesting how if we just take the time to imagine others’ circumstances, how we can then feel compassion toward them. We never know what people are going through, only that everyone is going through something, no matter how small or great it may be.
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So well said MeWhoAmI. If one we could do this on a greater scale.
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What a compassionate post. You are so correct about people too; we don’t know what they have gone through or are going through so we shouldn’t be too quick to judge them. We would hope others could realize that when if we act out of line. You remind me of something my father said to us once: If you meet someone who acts mean to you, you can almost bet that person is experiencing some sort of pain.
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That’s exactly the way that I feel. We don’t know, just as they don’t know our situation. So I would want to give them the benefit of the doubt, just as I would like them to do for me. Your father’s words are wise. Reminds me of bullies. Most bullies are mean because of a secret pain that they are holding within themselves.
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Excellent post!!! I frequently say: “Everyone has a story that will break your heart.” Happy Thanksgiving to a very talented blogger! Best, Catie
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What a great saying. They do. We all do. Thank you, Cate! Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
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Many years ago I used to the the “If I was him…” thing. But somehow I learned to not only put myself in the other person’s shoes but also do some mental scenarios that might complicate or tangle what that person is going through. I find that I rarely have an answer that I can share with that person and can only empathize.
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That’s a great position to take on other people’s issues. If we fill our minds with possible scenarios, then it is so much easier to forgive their behavior and to become more understanding.
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