Don’t ever let anyone convince you that you are incapable of doing something. Years ago, I was told that my autistic son would be incapable of learning alongside his peers. That he would live in a home for those with special needs and that he would never be independent.
Those professionals were wrong. My son has grown tremendously over the past several years. Although his sentences may not be well structured all the time, he speaks well. He reads, writes, does great in math and science, and has excellent artistic skills. Also, contrary to what the professionals said, he is becoming independent.
Everyday he is becoming more and more self-reliant, learning to do things on his own. From multi-step chores, to cooking, to doing laundry, even learning to take the bus. All of these things are preparing him for when he becomes an adult.
He may start adulthood a bit later than his peers, but when he does, I firmly believe that he will be ready. Not only will he be ready, but he will excel and go well beyond the boundaries that the professionals set for him all those years ago. He already has.
Professionals are educated, needed and appreciated. However each person is different, with individual abilities and should be seen and treated that way. There is no one-size fits all standard. My son has proved that. He is not incapable. On the contrary, he is very capable.
We are all capable of doing anything we set our minds to do. All it takes is perseverance and the determination to succeed.
“Typing my heart out” for Nano Poblano/NaBloPoMo.
Using LindaGHill’s SoCS prompt: In-. Find a word that begins with the prefix “in” or use the word itself anywhere in your post.
Me - Who am I? 
I hate it when professionals make this proclamations about kids potentials. Good for you for not letting it drag you and your son down. That is so great that you and he have been able to rise above them. It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy when we take these negative predictions to heart.
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That is something that they never should say to a parent. That immediately sets limits where there shouldn’t be any. Thank you. I refused to believe them and hold him back just because of their ‘professional’ insight. He has come so far.
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This is awesome. Your son is awesome. He teaches us to neber limit ourselves based on what charts and graphs say we are capable of. Bravo to both of you.
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He is! Exactly. Charts are graphs are great, but of little help when it comes to real life people. Thank you!
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I agree with you, we can do much more than we think. Never allow others opinions, no matter who they are, to hinder your dream!
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Exactly! The only limitations we should have are the ones we put on ourselves. We can do anything we set our minds to do.
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My only nephew is pretty low on the spectrum of autism according to the “experts”, and this post gives me hope someday things may improve for him. He’s 11. If I may ask, how old is your son?
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My son is too. He has had and still has a lot of challenges ahead of him, but there is hope! He has proved that. Your nephew can do so much more than what you may see now. Those walls will break, little by little. My son is 15.
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How wonderful to prove those “professionals” wrong! I’m so happy he is doing so well. You are an awesome mom not to limit him on the things others said he would never do! Kudos my dear! kudos! Rock on!~
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Thank you. I won’t say it hasn’t been a challenge, but every step has been so worth it. To see him grow, to go beyond their boundaries, has been an amazing thing to watch. Thank you!
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The problem is that in UK, the Mental Capacity Act 2005, defines capacity, and allows GPs and social services to access all autistics, as incapable, and then make all decisions for the autistic person.
This has been deliberately made law, as autisitics, can be used as huge cash cows and pharma cows under the creation of what is termed ;independent; living ,
The autistics, are forcefully removed from their family at 18, as then their family are not allowed to make any decisions for them, and placed in independent living units, often empty developments in the city, the local authority cut the family out, and corporation buddies make millions- its costs around 2,000 per week, and any drugs can be enforced, and the worse the behaviour the more money can be claim and the more drugs used.
All can be blamed on autism, it is a huge money spinner, and the family and autistic have no power.
The MCA, even provides, they can be used in drug trials and theraphy.
Please read my blog, of what is happening to my beautiful, intelligent autistic 17 year old daughter, and the law that is encaging these people by googeling finolamoss.
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That is terrible! I think I’d have to move. I cannot believe that they would even allow a thing like that to happen. It’s sad that money controls everything. That is not the way it should be, especially when it comes to the treatment of fellow humans. I’m so sorry to hear all this, and I will certainly check out your blog. Thank you for sharing this insightful comment.
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Unless we have a change of gov in May, unless you are one of the ‘us’ rather than’ them’ in the country, you would be as well to move.
I would but my daughter has been so badly abused by her LA care that she refuses now to go out for the past 8 months,because she is so frightened she will never come back.
Thahk you for your comment if you want to read more about the law and my life google finoamoss and read my blog.
Best wishes,
Finola
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As I have said before, you are awesome and so is your son. ❤ Never stop climbing and reaching those new heights
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Thank you very much. We’ll continue to climb until we can’t any more, and then we’ll get new shoes and climb some more! 🙂
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I like this quote, and I can’t remember where is came from…Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, either way you’ll be correct.
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I like that! That is so true. We can only do what we think we are capable of doing.
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Good for your son that he break these barriers. Maybe he should write a letter to those experts and ask them to change their opinion and be more positive. In this world everything is possible if you have the right resources. All the best for your son.
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One day I think that would be a wonderful idea. Thank you for mentioning that! That is true – we have so many resources now days. Our kids have much a better chance than ever before.
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Amen MeWhoAMI!!! I can’t tell you how many very aged senior citizens have told me that doctor’s told them to put their children “away” because they would “never” do this that or the other. And there, is their child, often part of the caregiving for that senior.
And by the way my sentences are rarely structured well when I speak!!! And quite often when I write. Sounds like he is doing wonderfully.
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I believe that! It is so sad that they place these limits on children, not even knowing what they are truly capable of. I’m glad that, although slowly, people seem to be changing their perspective.
That’s okay. Just makes your sentences that much more interesting, right? 🙂
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I agree with you that the change has been happening. I met one little lady who’s daughter was developmentally delayed. She NEVER had her child enrolled in MRDD, now called Board of Developmentally Delayed. She took care of that daughter until the daughter was in her late sixties when she passed from cancer. That’s another great parenting story. 🙂 Uplifting and encouraging.
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Wow! That is an uplifting story. A mother’s love proven by the actions taken to keep her daughter safe, protected and cared for. You’ve met some very inspiring people. I love hearing your stories.
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Thank you MeWhoAmI. I have met some wonderful people in my work life and personal life. I’ve been very lucky.
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Thanks for sharing that. My 6-year-old with autism is in first grade. Although her social skills aren’t on par with most children her age, she’s been flourishing beautifully at school. Her reading skills have been above the average in her class since she started school. She’s also very funny and playful. I can’t wait to see how she grows into a beautiful young woman in the years to come.
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It sounds like she’s doing great! That is wonderful to hear. I have no doubt that she will continue to flourish and surprise you all along the way.
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Sometimes I think the most ignorant people on earth are the ones with a string of letters after their names. I mean, really, your son seems to be getting on fine. A little behind what the “experts” think, but by whose measure is he “behind”? He’s probably way ahead of his peers in other ways.
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I think it’s because they do everything by the textbook and are too timid to look beyond the pages to see the person at hand. You’re right – “by whose measure is he behind?” I won’t lie, he is behind, but he is also ahead in just being who he is.
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This is amazing. And this gives me hope. I have been looking at working with children with “special needs” and explore the training side of it because I firmly believe that the potential in those children is there – just the tapping might take a longer and different route.
Thank you!
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There needs to be more people like you. People who are willing to look beyond the textbook at the person sitting before them. Each child is different and I believe that once people grasp onto that concept, that more children will get the specific help that they need to succeed as an individual. I wish you the best in your endeavors!
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Thank you! Maybe in a few years I’ll finally get where I want to be. It’s a slow start at the moment 🙂
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Beautiful inspiring post. My son is learning the basic life skills. He does well with maths and science but struggles with the little things other kids do naturally. I have never said never for him, but some things just take more time for these wonderful kids.
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Thank you. I think that sometimes the life skills can be the hardest to learn. The why, when and how of those things can be tough for some children to figure out. My son struggles with the same. I like how you never say never, but let him learn at his own pace. With persistence he’ll get there.
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All it really takes is a positive attitude. And of course, no one knows our kids as well as we do.
It’s wonderful that your son is progressing well. Congratulations on doing a great job as a mom! 😀
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You’re absolutely right. A positive attitude changes everything. There are still many hurdles ahead of him, but little by little he’ll get there. I believe it. I have to. Thank you, Linda.
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