Give Them a Reason to Live

kids

Children are suffering with depression more than ever. Why is that? I’m not a doctor and have no degree in psychology, but I am observant.

Some of these issues stem from genetics and other unavoidable circumstances, but I can’t say that the same holds true for everyone. Take for instance, the child whose parent suffers with suicidal thoughts. Why does the child in turn, struggle with the same? Could it be that they have learned from example?

Or, the child whose guardian constantly speaks of the child’s bad behavior, in front of them. Could it be that the child is simply behaving the way that they are said and believed to behave?

When fathers abuse their children, what so often happens? Their children become abusers as well. When a mother is a drug addict, what often happens to her children? They become addicts too.

Lately, there have been numerous children who have spoken to me about their depression and suicidal thoughts, and attempts. These are young kids, as young as 9 years old.

Why?

Why did that little 12 year nearly hang herself? Why did that 9 year old boy tell a me, a stranger, “My life is summed up by one word, sad. I’m sad.”

Why did that 13 year old girl have cut marks half way up her arm? Why did that same girl attempt suicide only months ago?

Why did that 15 year old try to overdose on prescription medication, thinking that no one loved him? Why did the 22 year just succeed at her attempt?

Why?

Something terrible is going on in this world, and people want to turn a blind eye to it. They want to remove their children from places where they feel safe. They shield them from getting the help they need, and from the people that want to help them.

Some parents even make their children’s problems worse by feeding their depression with statements like, “It’s genetic. You’ll probably suffer with it your whole life, just like I did. Unfortunately, this is just who you are. Sorry kiddo, that’s life.” These aren’t made up. I’ve heard these statements.

Neither a blind eye, or ignorance is going to save these children’s lives. Something needs to change, and it needs to change now.

We need to lift our kids up, not push them down. We need to show them that there is more to this life, not that it’s hopeless. We need to show them our love, and give them our time.

We need to set a good example for them. Show them that life doesn’t have to be miserable. Show them that it’s okay to be happy and that they can be. Show them that life is worth living.

We need to show them.

We need to be parents.

 


“Typing my heart out” for Nano Poblano/NaBloPoMo.

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26 Responses to Give Them a Reason to Live

  1. This is so powerful and so true. Where have all the parents gone?

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  2. DailyMusings says:

    So very true. Negativity has a powerful impact on children. There is enough with peer pressure and the outside world- at home a child should have a safe and positive environment.

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  3. Great and important article. I think that many parents are scared to stand and act like they should to. To take their responsibility as parents scares many. We do not need to be best friends with our kids, but be the best raising and supporting parents, as we can be.

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    • mewhoami says:

      That has been a big topic lately as well. Children need parents, not for their parents to be their friend. We need to love our children, support them and provide them with security. We shouldn’t be afraid to parent them. Parenting them with love, will help to save them.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think there is some concern about the non stop activity of living. We seem to be living in a world of extremes. Some kids do absolutely nothing active (video gaming, tv, etc) and other kids seem to never be permitted to sit still (sports, after school clubs, anything that they can join). Though in both extremes some kids are obviously fine, I’ve seen children burn out and not know how to rest. I’ve seen other kids not know how to physically participate. I’m glad I’ve seen, met, been with parents who know how to balance, how to interact and still parent. It’s not a lost art. But it sure seems so in many situations.

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    • Glynis Jolly says:

      What you stated is so true. There doesn’t seem to be any room for a child to be creative by him/herself. They don’t seem to have a way to explore who they are anymore and, instead, keep looking to others for their answers.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mewhoami says:

        Great words too, Glynis. That’s one thing that kids desperately need to go back to – exploring who they are rather, than how others perceive them or sentence them to be.

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    • mewhoami says:

      This is an excellent point. There definitely needs to be a balance and we should listen to our children’s wants and understand their needs, rather than what we may think they need. Sometimes are wants and needs are too much or too little. Each child is different and needs to be treated such. We are all individuals. You are also absolutely right there are many, many wonderful parents out there.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Janelle says:

    Parents not doing their primary job of BEING PARENTS … it’s so disheartening. My kids are now adults, but I have always been their number one fans and chief cheerleaders. This does not mean I believe they are or could attain perfection or that they should be shielded from the consequences of their actions. I felt my job was to encourage them to always try their best, then celebrate their victories and support them in and through their setbacks. Excellence is individual, for some kids it sports or academics, for others it could be creativity or something more obscure. This trend toward homogonizing everything so one size fits all is sufforcating and demoralizing to the spirit.

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    • mewhoami says:

      Janelle, I’m not sure how I missed this comment. My apologies. I completely agree with everything you just said. It’s our job to lift them up, to love and encourage them, but also to show tough love and correction when needed. You’re right also about everyone having their own forms of success. For example, my son will likely never be an athlete, but he very well might be a computer programmer one day. Everyone is unique and should be treated as such, in all matters of their life.

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      • Janelle says:

        Thanks for replying, and please do not worry about missing it. It’s interesting how common sense is losing the public relations battle in our culture right now. Your son is gifted in his own ways and will find his path. As a parent, your job is to guide him to it with confidence and with grace. It’s not always easy, but it sounds as if you have a firm handle and are steering steadily.

        Love your blog, by the way! I’m a new follower/reader and enjoying it enormously.

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  6. DebraB says:

    I don’t know what the cause is, but I am a college professor, and I’ve noticed that students with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues are RAMPANT. I suppose parenting is part of the problem, but I think we have larger societal pressures at work as well.

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    • mewhoami says:

      It is rampant, and I can only imagine what you see everyday. I do agree with you though, that is definitely also an issue of pressure from outside sources. Due to media and their fellow peers, kids feel that they have so much to compete with and that they just don’t add up. This thing is, is that what they see isn’t real. What they compete with isn’t real. What they don’t see, is that they were made to be individuals and their uniqueness is what makes them so special.

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  7. April says:

    The human mind and all its complexities aren’t fully understood. Why does a child contemplate suicide? Maybe the feel they aren’t heard. It’s a way of asking for someone to please pay attention to them, to love them. Unfortunately, their peers play another huge part by the child noticing they aren’t like the others. Parents have to listen to their child and hear what they are saying.

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    • mewhoami says:

      From recent encounters with this, I’d have to say that you’re right. They feel alone and like no one cares. They just want someone to hear them, to help them. It’s so terribly sad though, that they even get to that place to begin with. What our children feel is important to them and it’s our job to listen, whether we understand or not. They need our love, concern and care. Just like all of us. We all need that.

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  8. children need support and to be lifted up as you say and to enjoy life and the world x PS Hello from another nano challenge person xx

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