People are going to believe what they are going to believe. No perfectly articulated sentence, or magic potion will change their mind. A person will only change their mind, or gain a different perspective when they are ready.
We can’t change people, nor can we change their way of thinking. We may be able to influence them, but real change comes from a change of mind within them.
It’s difficult for people to see themselves. It’s much easier for them to see everyone else. Turn on the news for two minutes, and what do you see? A blame game. From politicians to shootings to school dress codes, there’s a blame game being played.
Take a walk down the street, listen to a married couple, stroll through the store, and you will hear it: the blame game.
Everyone wants to blame someone and no wants to blame themselves. No one wants to accept responsibility for their actions, or the situation that they find themselves in. That’s a problem. What’s worse is that its reach goes well beyond the person at hand. When one person forces their faults onto someone else, it can impact a whole range of people.
The solution – a change of mind.
In order for anyone to change, they must be able to see themselves for who they are, and not for who they think they are. Most people can’t even process the thought, “Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the one whose thinking is wrong. Maybe I’m the one who needs to change.”
Why can’t people see themselves? Have they been raised to believe that they can do no wrong? Have they convinced themselves that everyone is out to get them? Were they taught that the world owes them? Or maybe it was a slow process, brought on by situations, hurt and misunderstandings.
Have they formed their mindset to a point to where it’s irreversible? I’d like to believe that everyone is capable of change. Whether or not they will however, is the question.
Trying to reason with people can be exhausting. So if it’s not working, stop. Just let them be. Don’t invite yourself to their party.
And don’t worry, life has a way of accomplishing what we can’t.
Love it! Thanks for sharing!!!
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Life does have a way of accomplishing what we can’t/won’t. 🙂
I had a friend say something the other day that was totally uncalled for – yet they really felt the need to express it – and I’ll admit that at first my feelings were really hurt – but then I got over it. Like you post above, it is so much easier to see others! They brought their own thoughts and feelings to the table and their own preconceived notions and there were a lot of wrong assumptions made, a lot of wrong assumptions made – but they made them based on their history.
I don’t have to take any responsibility for their wrong assumptions, I don’t have to be upset because they can’t see themselves clearly, and more importantly, I only have to worry about myself, and making sure that today, I am a better person than I was yesterday!
I love this! “I don’t have to take any responsibility for their wrong assumptions.” That is the truth! Let them think what they won’t, but we sure don’t have to get pulled down with them.
You wrote, “In order for anyone to change, they must be able to see themselves for who they are….” Very true. As Scottish poet Robert Burns wrote in his poem, To a Louse On Seeing one on a Lady’s Bonnet at Church:
O wad some Pow’r the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us!
To see ourselves as others see us. That sure would be an eye opener for many of us, wouldn’t it?
We too often see what we wish to see! 🙂
True, and sometimes what people see is very skewed.
2 of my favorite quotes on this topic: “Perception is a mirror.” And, “Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.”
Thanks for this post!
This is something I need to work on. I need to learn to shut my mouth before anything comes out of it so that I’ll try to see the other side first and then speak.
Sometimes we cannot move forward until we realise that the problems we have can only be solved by ourselves and not by expecting others to do it for us.
Exactly! I completely agree with you.
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