We Have a Choice

How did you wake up this morning? Did you wake up frustrated, or happy? Do you believe that you had a choice in what mood you would wake up in? I do.

A few years ago a man asked me, “Are you going to have a good day today?” He didn’t tell me to have a good day as most people do during conversation. He asked me if I was going to. By doing so, he made me realize that I had a choice over the matter. It is my choice whether I will have a good day or a bad one.

Don’t get me wrong, tragedies happen that we have no control over. However, on a typical day most of us (excluding those who struggle with depression, bipolar disorder, etc) have a choice on how we will spend it. If we want to be angry, we can be. On the contrary, if we want to smile and be joyful, we can do that too.

We all know that life can be very difficult at times and can throw us around like rag dolls. People attack us and hurt us, we lose jobs, struggle financially and loved ones pass away. Things happen all the time, but we can make our situations much worse if we allow ourselves to. No matter what hardships come our way, we have a choice as to how we will respond. That’s a choice that each of us are freely given.

Having a positive attitude may not be the cure to all of our problems, but one thing’s for sure – moping, complaining and being angry will never accomplish anything.

Love is a choice. Anger is also a choice, and for most of us so is happiness.

Anger… I can let someone make me angry. All I have to do is dwell on their words, actions or facial expressions. Within seconds, my blood can be boiling. Becoming angry is easy. What’s not so easy, is not becoming angry. I heard a saying once and it’s one that I firmly believe; “He who angers you, controls you.” No one makes you angry. You allow yourself to become angry.

It takes a lot of self control to say, “I choose not to be angry with you.” But it can be done, and the pay off is much greater than the alternative.

Love… Love is also a choice. (excluding abusive, harmful relationships, etc)

We can either decide to love someone, or decide not to. To make ourselves stop loving someone is not hard to do at all. All it takes is focusing on their flaws, annoying habits and irritating traits. Eventually, their flaws become all that we can see in them. Sometimes we even go so far as to create flaws in them that don’t even exist. We can make ourselves see, hear and believe whatever we want. The mind is a powerful thing.

By having this backward focus, we become blind to all the qualities and traits that caused us to love them in the first place. Again, it’s a choice. We can either allow those little things to grow into monsters, or we can push them away and replace them with good qualities.

Happiness… Once we learn that we are in control of how we respond to situations, we will also learn that we are in control of our overall happiness. Nothing and no one can make us happy. They can contribute to our happiness, but true happiness comes from within. It’s a peace within ourselves, that we create. A peace that we have control over.

What it really all boils down to, is priorities. At the end of this road called life, what will truly matter? What will hold the most significance? What’s really important?

We only get one life, so we should be careful not to waste it.

Share a smile, forgive others and most of all…love.