Start a New Life?

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Over the years there have been a few times when I’ve fantasized about running away to a distant place. A place where I was unknown to all those who lived there. A place where I could start a new life.

But each time that urge would come, the same thought would stop me. It was the thought of all those that I would have to leave behind in the process. How could I leave my family behind? The ones who had always been there for me, loved me and cared for me. With that thought, I never left.

But some do. Some people do it gently, leaving as little damage behind as possible. Others are like tornadoes, ripping through everyone in their path and tearing them apart as they flee. They show no concern over the pain that they are causing to those around them. They seemingly care about no one, but themselves.

To make this choice when those in their life had treated them poorly and had never shown them love, is somewhat understandable. But, to do this when their family has done nothing but show them love, care for them, and help them, is baffling.

These people leave a trail of unjustified destruction along their path. In the process, those who love them are hurt, left and thrown away without a cause. Why? Why hurt people in such a way, such a selfish way?

Selfishness may feel good for a moment, but if it becomes a way of life, then one day it will come back to haunt them.

Life is short, but people seem to forget that. Our loved ones won’t be around forever. We won’t be around forever. Sure, life would be grand if we could just up and leave every time the wind blew, but life isn’t supposed to work that way. Life isn’t only about us and what we can get for ourselves. It’s about others too.

We are a people of hasty decision making. That is, until we learn better. Unfortunately, some learn too late and others never do. For those unfortunate ones, it may be a sad day when they’re laying in their death bed, surrounded by potentially…no one.

What’s the point of it all?

“Never make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings.”

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19 Responses to Start a New Life?

  1. tric says:

    Sadly many who do this are unwell, or unhappy even those who have support. Hopefully they will reconnect and wounds can heal, but it is so hard to accept and understand the pain and hurt they cause.

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    • mewhoami says:

      You are absolutely right. Many times they are mentally unwell. Nothing we do or say can change them. They have to decide to change on their own. Sometimes it takes them having to learn the hard way and sometimes they just never do. But we can’t give up hope.

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  2. I was going to ask how we know if they are temporary or not. Duh. I supposed I have to give it time to develop or go away. I love that advice.

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    • mewhoami says:

      That’s it exactly. Our feelings change with time. It’s our responsibility to not be hasty, but instead to give ourselves time to confirm whether our feelings are true and lasting, or only temporary, set off by emotions.

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  3. Doobster418 says:

    Running away to a distant place where you’re unknown to everyone and you can start a new life sounds quite attractive. But the truth is you can never run away from yourself.

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  4. Wow. This is such a great and ponderous piece. I wish teens could have this kind of thinking going on. I wish I would’ve thought like this when I was a teen. Thankfully, I grew into a person who realized the value of my family and I appreciate them every day. Anyway, this little gem of advice not to make permanent decision on temporary feelings is one I’m going to try and get into my teen’s head for future reference. Thanks.

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    • mewhoami says:

      It would be great if teens would think this way. They sure would skip out on a lot of mistakes if they did. I wish I was talking about a teen. But, this is a near 40 year old. Sometimes teens remain teens well beyond their years.

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      • Yes, that is a tough one for sure….but as long as there is life, there is hope….we have to hang on to that….I’ve actually seen quite a transformation recently in someone close to me that I would describe just as you did….a teen remaining a teen well beyond their years…it can happen. It’s amazing when it does, but it can happen!

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        • mewhoami says:

          You are absolutely right. We can never give up hope, and it’s great that you were able to see such a transformation. As long as there is breath, anything is possible.

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  5. Pingback: Should I stay or should I go? | ??Journey or destination??

  6. This post got me thinking. I started writing a comment but it turned into a novelette so I stuck it on my blog . http://wp.me/p2GFqd-zH

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  7. As I have grown older I have come to understand other humans more.

    I no longer madly hold people accountable for their actions and expect an explanation or name call.

    People do things for whatever their reasons and I am convinced these are not always able to be categorised.

    We are all on a different journey and need to accept that fact in the lives of both ourselves and others.

    Nice post!

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    • mewhoami says:

      I agree. Each situation is different and every person is an individual with unique attitudes and behavior. It’s just that with some situations there is no logical explanation. Then when that baffling situation effects the lives of others, it’s very saddening. But, we each make our own choices and have every right to. I suppose if it were a perfect world, the only difference is that others wouldn’t get hurt in the process.

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  8. I sometimes will send a message to a friend “Let’s run away to the islands, my name will be Carmen and you shall be called Raphael. We will have a shop where we sell knick knacks to tourists and that night they shall buy us drinks”

    Of course, we never do. But we have been known to run across the border to gamble a bit!

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    • mewhoami says:

      That sure does sound like fun, doesn’t it? Your dream sounds a lot like mine. I’ve always wanted a private island I could escape to from time to time. Going across the border is kind of running away. 🙂

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  9. April says:

    I think that impulsiveness is hard for some to maintain. Prior to marriage and kids, I ran a lot. I wanted to escape anxiety and depression. The only way to do this was to constantly change–some big change. Other than the fact that I received the proper help with the anxiety and depression, my sister said something to me one time, and I hear her words when I become discouraged and want to run away. I was complaining about not liking this-or-that. Her response was–then turn it into something you like. Sometimes we think we need to run, when what we are looking for is in front of us or inside of us.

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    • mewhoami says:

      Your sister was a a very wise woman too. She is right. Many times all we need is a new perspective. Look at whatever our problem is, in a different way. It may not need to be changed at all. Maybe it’s just us that needs to change. Or maybe we just need to see it differently. I’ve been learning to do the same thing recently, so it’s very interesting that you shared this.

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