When I first typed the title for this, I immediately thought of marriage. Two opposite minded people living under the same roof can be a circus. That’s not what this post is about though.
This is more of a late introductory post, and since it’s ‘Wordless Wednesday’, I felt today would be ideal for an informal post such as this.
It’s been a year and a half since I started this blog. Throughout that time, I’ve written on many topics. Most of them are serious in nature and full of emotion.
A person reading my blog would likely think either, I wouldn’t want to live with this lady or I feel bad for those who do. Like a light switch, I’m either up or down in my writing, and it can change within the hour. Also, depending on the day, I’m either motivational or critical.
However, there’s a whole other side of me than what you read here. The ‘me’ who people see face to face, is much different. For example, my mood is generally stable, and unless absolutely necessary, rarely do I ever voice my opinions, feelings or ideas.
I am somewhat serious most of the time, but also rather emotionless. Not much moves me. I’m not touchy-feely, a drama queen, or lovey-dovey. Maybe it’s the country girl in me. I grew up with manure on my shoes, dirt under my nails and spent my time playing boy-style. I certainly was not one into playing dress up, having tea parties or getting my nails done.
Of course, in high school some of that changed. I’m certainly more girly than I used to be, but in many ways I’m still that same girl. Similar to boys, I didn’t develop into the mushy type. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be loved and I love to show love. The problem, is that most of the time I don’t know how to. At least not face to face. Writing is great for that purpose!
I stink at romance. Being touchy is foreign to me and I can’t stand drama queens, which is why most of my friends have always been guys. Most females make me want to pull my hair out. How do you men deal with them?
My whole point in this off-the-wall post, is that my words on here, typically stay here. Most of these thoughts are not shared in my real life, nor do I express the emotions behind them. I’m not the sad, stern, opinionated woman that some may see here. Actually, I’m not quite sure how I come off to those who read this blog. All I know, is that I’m very different in my real life. This is my place to express feelings and share thoughts that I wouldn’t otherwise speak of.
Along that same note, although I’m serious around most people, there are a very few exceptions. With those who I’m comfortable with, I enjoy laughing, making jokes and acting goofy.
Being a stick in the mud might be okay for most of the day, but a girl’s got to let loose every now and then, and have some fun. I’m very energetic and love adventure. Bungee jumping, hang-gliding and parachuting out of a plane are all on my to-do list.
In other words, what you see is not always what you get. Very few people know all of me.
I wonder how many other people out there use this platform to voice things that they would otherwise keep to themselves. I certainly can’t be the only one.
hahahhahahaha – it would never dawn on me – on my blog or in real life – to keep things to myself!
That is so funny! I don’t have the courage to say everything I feel. Granted, I do have a habit of asking exactly what’s on my mind. I rather ask, than wonder.
Great post 🙂
I think that we use the blog for those thoughts, as we would like to share with other souls.
We do all have our life experiences and are acting out from those in one or another way.
Thank you, Irene. You’re right. We all act it out in some form or the other. I think we have to release it, otherwise we’d explode.
Yes maybe, but I will say, that I prefer to be the same soul both online and offline. To tell what I think and I feel more whole and honest to myself in that way of living.
::sticking his hand up in the air:: Me! I do. My blog is my release of things that I would probably not say “the real world” to very many (if any) other people. But I have to tell you that if I grew up with manure on my shoes, I’m not sure even I would publicize that fact on my blog!
I’m glad to see that I’m not alone. Blogging is such a terrific way to express ourselves freely and openly. As far as the manure goes, oddly enough I’m proud of that fact. Growing up as a country girl was the best life, manure and all.
I am who I am both online and in real life. Although maybe not as outspoken sometimes 🙂
Your description of yourself sounds so much like one of my coworkers. She asked me yesterday for help in choosing a dress for her daughter because she doesn’t ‘do pretty’ and spends her time in jeans and out in the paddock with her horses.
That’s a wonderful thing, Sue. That’s funny about your co-worker. I can dress girly, but if the outfit doesn’t include black, then I’m at a total loss. Fashion is not my thing.
I was a tomboy up until the time I moved to Brazil. My best friends were always guys. I have always been hurt by girls. Now I love my sun dresses and girly stuff.
Same here. Girls take things way too personal and hold grudges for the smallest of things. Boys on the other hand, beat each other up and become best friends. I enjoy wearing sun dresses too. They are comfortable during the summer and can be very pretty. I’m a bit more girly than I used to be, but when it comes to fun, I prefer guy-style activities.
I totally relate to this post. I do not share my blog with the people I know in “real life” except for one friend. I blog to write about things I would not necessarily talk about, it allows me not to have to think about judgments people might make. Except for one friend who asked if it would be ok to read. I said it was ok. She told me my blogs are so serious- she had no idea I had that side to me. She said I am always so upbeat and laughing and she was so surprised to read the serious thoughts I write about. So I totally get where you are coming from. I wouldn’t feel comfortable spouting some of the things close to my heart that I write about- but love being able to let it out through blogging. And I am sure you are not a stick in the mud!!! 😀
I think that most of my friends and family would feel the same about me, as your friend does about you. It’s almost a guarantee that some things I say on here would shock them. According to them, I’m the shy, quiet type, with no problems. Ha! 🙂 Sadly yes, I can be a stick in the mud. It’s my way of keeping myself from expressing too much around those I’m not comfortable with.
I related to much of what you said. I grew up with three older brothers and 2 younger ones. My poor sisters got all the “girly” part of girl. My kids always used to ask why I couldn’t be more like a girl. I would tell them I am very strong in my femininity and that does not mean I have to be frilly. As for who I am….I am never fully open on this forum, or face to face. It was a learned self defense. And I’ve never changed that. Great post MWAI.
I think that’s exactly why I didn’t have a daughter. I don’t have to do my son’s hair, paint his nails or match clothing. Everything matches jeans! 🙂 It makes a person vulnerable to share everything. It’s good to know that I’m the only one who keeps things to myself. There are some, many, things that I will never share here either.
My poor girls! I kept calling my oldest “HIM” for the first 2 days of her life I was so convinced God wouldn’t give me a girl because I wouldn’t know how to relate. He obviously had other plans for me. 🙂
Thank you for sharing. I don’t believe you need to explain why you think you are different to others. You don’t need to apologize or even acknowledge that you are not girly or overly emotional. They are just stereotypes of women that people have created. You are you, and we love you wholly. I posted this poem on my blog recently and I hope it rings true with you, particularly the last four lines. Love to you from Jenna
You are not your age,
Nor the size of the clothes you wear,
You are not a weight,
Or the color of your hair.
You are not your name,
Or the dimples in your cheeks,
You are all the books you read,
And all the words you speak,
You are your croaky morning voice,
And the smiles you try to hide,
You are the sweetness in your laughter,
And every tear you’ve cried,
You’re the songs you sing so loudly when you know you’re all alone,
You’re the places you’ve been too,
And the one that you call home,
You’re the things that you believe in,
And the people that you love,
You’re the photos in your bedroom,
And the future you dream of,
You’re made of so much beauty,
But it seems you forgot,
When you decided that you were defined,
By all the things you’re not.
I love that poem! Thank you and thank you for your very kind words also. I can be girly and I certainly have my moments, but underneath it all I’m more comfortable just being ‘me’. In a way I wish I was more emotional, at least every now and then, when needed. I wish I knew how to express outwardly what I feel inwardly.
Hands up… me too. The things I write about on here, the emotion side, the ups the downs are all mainly on here, if my family or friends read my blog they would not see me as the writer most of the time. It is difficult to explain, in fact I am surprised no one has ever said that I am faking one or the other. But I am not, it’s just with the face to face people things are suppressed.
That’s funny that you say that about faking who you are. I’m surprised no one has sad the same about me. Perhaps they think it, but don’t voice it? Like you though, I’m not faking either one. Once combined, they each make up who I am, my whole self.
I often find that people think differently to what they say sometimes so it may be the case. There isn’t much you can do about it really.
What I see in your writing is a very compassionate, courageous, and loving person–even if it isn’t mushy displays of touching and feeling. You aren’t afraid to go out into the world and try new things.
Girly, touchy-feely, romantic, or high maintenance are not ways I describe myself. I love digging in the dirt and sitting on the ground. I’ll take cowgirl boots over high heels any day. I don’t own a dress and only one pair of slacks. I suppose it’s what we feel on the inside about ourselves. There are some things I have difficulty speaking because I’m afraid I’ll cry or feel vulnerable–and I must not do that. But—except for one aspect of my life—everything I blog about, is the raw me, said just exactly as I would speak – for the most part – I believe I get my point across better when I write it down. I also use crap a whole lot more when I speak, but I no longer am hiding my true self whether it’s silly or serious. It’s all that which makes me, me. However, the fact that I suffer from anxiety and depression aren’t on my main topics of discussion, if it does come up, I’m not afraid to talk to someone face-to-face.
Oh…I have some friends from my photography club who read my blog. I feel a bit weird knowing they have read what I divulge on my blog. Then I realized that they like me anyway, and they don’t look at me with sympathy.
Thank you April! 🙂 That was very sweet.
You’re right. What we feel on the inside about ourselves is most important. Like you, what I write is the raw me, except for two areas of my life that I don’t discuss. Some things are better left private from everyone.
It’s wonderful that you can show your whole self in front of others. There are a couple people who get that from me, but that’s about it. Even with them, there are some things I hold back on.
That would be weird to know that they see you in the raw, but I like how you point out that they like you anyway. From my viewpoint, there’s nothing to dislike about you from your writing. 🙂
Oh, I would write about what I keep “secret” it has to do with a particular person who reads my blog. A person I have known my entire life.
Ah. Got it. 🙂