To Give Or Not To Give


In this day and age, people are quick to take advantage of others. By now, most people have either heard the term “entitlement mentality” or they possess it. For whatever reason, these people feel that the world owes them. They will take anything they can get, as long as it’s free and they don’t have to work for it.

With them, as soon as you offer a helping hand, there’s no getting it back. They just keep eating off of it. After a while, it can become burdensome and make you leery about giving to anyone at all. I’ve been there and two of those instances have been written about before. One was about a sweet lady, who because of her loneliness, wore me out with endless errands and innumerable hours. The other was about a free meal that was greatly taken advantage of.

Because of those two situations and many others, I’ve become very cautious about who I give to. So cautious, that I often feel as though I’m becoming stingy, which is bothersome to me. I’ve been given to and remember very clearly how much that gesture meant to me. Therefore, I want to be a giver. It’s my way of paying back and even more so, that’s what people should do. We should give.

The question is, who should we give to?

Contrary to the people I mentioned above, there are others who also need help, but they do their part in helping themselves. Those people have a different mentality. They are striving to become self reliant. They may still have to rely on the government to help them get on their feet, but for them it’s a temporary support system, not a lifestyle. Those people, in my opinion, deserve a helping hand.

There’s a young lady who I’ve known for a while now. She works constantly trying to create a good life for herself and her son. After all these months of knowing her, she’s never asked for help. She tries to do everything on her own, without assistance. She’s determined to get herself out of the pit, that she admittedly, put herself into. Her strength and will power is admirable.

Because of those attributes, she receives help. Help that she doesn’t have to ask for. People naturally want to give to her. Since I’ve met her, not only has she gotten her needs met, but her life is greatly improving. She no longer relies on the government, she has a place to stay and an excellent job. She’s well on her way to creating the life she wants for herself and her son.

As I spent the afternoon with this wonderful young lady, I kept thinking about all the lessons she teaches with her life. Here are a few, I thought would be nice to share.

1) If circumstances knock you down, get up again! There’s no one holding you down, but you.

2) Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future.

3) No matter what your current situation is, you can overcome it. All you need is determination, self discipline and a goal.

4) You don’t have to be a statistic. You can be self-reliant. You can be successful.

5) It’s not the problem that matters most, it’s how you respond to it.

6) Don’t sit back and watch everyone else dig you out. Do your part in improving your situation. People take note of that, and you may be surprised at who helps you in return.

7) If you don’t know where to begin, read this quote: “The turtle makes progress only when he sticks his head out.” (From Sue)

8) Be a giver! Whether it be money, food, clothing or a simple hug, be sure to give. Don’t be stingy. Also keep in mind, that there are times when we all could use a helping hand. What you give out, is what you’ll get back.

There are lessons to be learned all around us. We just have to open our eyes and pay attention.

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17 Responses to To Give Or Not To Give

  1. Beautiful post. I love the lessons that you have shared. I, too, struggle with wanting to give and the whole being taken advantage of aspect. I really liked this, thank you!


    • mewhoami says:

      Thank you, Kate. It can be a struggle, but it shouldn’t have to be. It would so much easier if all people were appreciative for what they receive.


  2. Terrific advice. I love it and it’s really okay to not give to everybody.


  3. April says:

    She sounds like a great person, and a reminder to never give up on ourselves.


  4. GREAT lessons for us all. What courage and strength it sometimes takes to stick your head out of the turtle shell. But what a fantastic pay out. I have seen the entitled, have seen those who give unselfishly until they burnout or have nothing more to give (possibly the same thing). I’ve seen those who have been burnt or burned out, restored by those like the woman you have seen who works hard and doesn’t ask. You are so right, we all at one time or more, may need help. Or be the ones who extend the help. So beautifully explained MeWhoAmI. Thank you!


    • mewhoami says:

      Thank you, Chatter. People who are in need are all around us, but they certainly come in different forms. It’s differentiating the two, that’s the hard part. People who are truly appreciative for what they get will not take advantage of others. Those are the people who usually won’t burn you out. I’ve been there and needed help. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” That sounds fitting.


  5. Sammy D. says:

    Hi – i’m visiting by way of Justine (Eclectic Odds) and A New Perspective. It’s “a sign” that I come to you on a day when you’re posting about entitlement mentality. I wholeheartedly sgree with everything you’ve so eloquently said. After growing up with my Parents who experienced the Depression years, we’re a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” family. I look forward to exploring your previous posts and following your future gifts.


    • mewhoami says:

      Hi Sammy D! Welcome to my little community. Glad to have you here. It’s good to see that others out there still have that same mindset. That’s the way it used to be. People worked hard and did whatever was needed in order to provide for their families. Times have certainly changed. Thank you so much for your comment. I’m heading over to your blog now.


  6. stacilys says:

    Yea, it’s difficult sometimes to know who to give to and who not to. My situation here in Brazil is even stickier. There are people that are so poor, and it seems like it’s a lifestyle, but I don’t think they know how to get out of that rut. I guess a lot of it has to do also with upbringing and learned behavior (like cultural stuff).
    At any rate, great advice. I wrote a poem not to long ago called, Tenacity. It’s the, don’t give up, type of attitude. If you’d like to read it you can do so here


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