What do we really want?
People say that the unique qualities of a person is what makes them special. They also make the statement that if everyone were the same, then this would be a boring world.
Then they complain when we’re not like them. They criticize us, because we don’t live up to their expectations. We’re not who they want us to be.
They judge us, because we have different opinions and make choices that they don’t understand. They complain, because we feel emotions that they can’t comprehend. They criticize, because what’s an important issue to them is not as important to us. They condemn us, because we seek happiness in ways that they do not. They judge us because we dress, act and speak differently than them.
They say, be unique. Then they complain because we are.
So what is it? Do we want people to be unique or do we want them all to be the same?
Me - Who am I? 
We should celebrate our uniquenesses, but we are, instead, frightened by our differences. We surround ourselves with those who are more like we are, and take comfort knowing that they share our values and our beliefs. Hence, the old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.”
It’s too bad most of us are wired that way. It closes us off, it narrows us, it limits us.
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We should, but you are right that most people stick with what and who they can relate to. Although I do tend to fall back on those also, I highly enjoy getting to know people are opposite than me. They can teach me what others cannot.
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I try to appreciate the differences in people even though I may not agree or choose to make the choices they have made to live the way they do or be the way they are. They key is not passing judgement on the differences I think.
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That’s it exactly – not passing judgements. We may not agree, but whoever said we have to? They don’t agree with us either. It definitely goes both ways.
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Different – but not TOO different! Of course that is entirely subjective.
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That’s true. They are two separate things.
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I want you to be different. And yes, if you are too different from me we won’t be friends, but I won’t judge you for it. Usually. 🙂
I don’t want us all to be the same, and I want to be one to celebrate our differences, but more importantly, I want to be ME, I want to be true to me and I don’t want to worry about what others are saying.
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Thanks Kate. I want to be different too, although I find myself in the follower crowd. The rebellious follower.
We should treat others the way that we want to be treated. If we want people to accept us for who we are, then we must also accept them. Not agree always, but accept and appreciate the differences. I want you to be you too. 🙂
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People want us to be who they think we should be.
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Yes they do and it limits them. I would say it limits us, but they are the ones missing out on learning through someone different than them.
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I think when someone else tries to make you into their image of you then it also damages your self esteem and causes you to question just who you really are.
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Yes it does. It makes you feel as though you’re not good enough. Also, sometimes it causes you to believe that nothing you do is right. Being treated that way leads to all sorts of problems.
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u-huh… certainly does.
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I would love unique qualities! But there are some sameness I would love all people to share. Respect for one another. Kindness. Charity. Civility. 🙂
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I agree with you! There are some things that everyone should have.
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We do all need to learn not to judge and accept each others way to live. Mutual respect is the keyword.
Even it is an instinct, we need to not become scared for differencies.
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I agree, Irene. Mutual respect does sum it up quite nicely. That’s all it is, a respect for each others differences. Fear of those differences limits us.
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I like the difference in all. I like to see things from a person’s unique viewpoint. What I have found to be true for me, when I criticize others, or become frustrated because they are doing or saying something against what I want them to do, it comes from a place of insecurity. When I’m feeling and thinking the worst of myself, I find I see that others aren’t living up to my expectations. Does that make sense? I thinks it’s a twisted way to rise above our own insecurities.
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That makes complete sense. It seems that when people (me included) are facing our own issues, we seek out the flaws in others. We become very critical of them, when we should be focusing on fixing ourselves instead.
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Perhaps what we really want for ourselves and others is to just be authentic.
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I wish that were the case and for some I believe it is. It would be ideal if everyone had the freedom to be authentic.
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Hi!
Why don’t we all just be the way we are & not worry about others & their opinions? We do have lives of our own & if we aren’t little kids or teens going to school, what is it of their concern? Ask them the same thing & watch them try to give you the answer they would give you if you were in their shoes or vice-versa.
Rodney
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I think we care about what people think of us, because deep down most people want to be accepted by others. However, you are right that our differences should really be of no concern to most people. We should allow people to be who they are and they should do the same for us.
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absolutely!
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People want others to be differentiated in small, predictable ways (“variety is the spice of life!”) but not to be unpredictable (unpredictability is scary) or different in major ways (you are not like me, you must be wrong/bad/etc).
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That’s true. People feel comfortable with what is familiar to them, and they fear what they don’t know or don’t understand. Sadly, that fear stands in their way from potentially knowing some very wonderful people and also from learning. We can’t learn new things from people who are just like us.
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I have taught my children that being different is the way to go. Think for yourself and my daughter actually finds being told she is weird as a compliment and would be mortified if someone told her she was a popular girl. She hates the lame dolls out at the moment (too old for dolls now) that all they do is talk about clothes and boys. She enjoys art, craft and reading. I know there will come a time in her teenage years where she will feel the need to fit into the mainstream but it is a short space of time and then she can be just who she wants to be. At the age of eleven she laughs and says ” look out mum soon I will catch the teenagers disease.” I hope it does not happen but I know I caught it for awhile and was horrible to my mum….for a short moment in time…..celebrate difference thats me and my world. My parents taught me well.
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Good for her for wanting to be different. The world needs more people like her who are willing to stand out from the crowd. Someone who will be a leader, to show girls that they don’t need to be just like everyone else. They can be who they are, their unique selves. Your parents taught you well and now you’re passing it on.That’s great!
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