Do We Matter?

question

The following question was on a self-help worksheet my son brought home. I found it to be very thought provoking and maybe others will find it interesting as well.

“If you suddenly had to move far away, what would your friends, teachers, or neighbors {or co-workers, family} miss about you? How would their lives be more difficult, less fun, or less interesting if you weren’t there?”

Our presence should be felt. When we’re not somewhere we ought to be, people should notice. That doesn’t mean that we have to be loud and obnoxious. But our presence and the role we play in this life, should be important to those around us.

What difference do we, as an individual, make on the people in our lives? What do we contribute? Is our presence felt?

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39 Responses to Do We Matter?

  1. I have been pondering a similar question: What will my oldest son miss when he goes away to college? About six months ago, our family agreed that our home would be a place of “peaceful refuge.” This is what I hope my son will miss!

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    • mewhoami says:

      Having a place of peaceful refuge is very important. We all need that special place, where we can just breathe and relax. I’m sure he will miss that and be grateful for it each time he comes home.

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  2. Wow, you are very right. It is a food for thought. It should be the next Daily Prompt !
    By the way you should submit this idea to them, It’ll be really cool ! 🙂

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  3. Grannymar says:

    Since my husband died sixteen years ago, I have lived alone. Elly my only child has lived away from home since 1996 (University, Work and then marriage). We are in regular contact. Now that I am ageing and health issues have raised their ugly head, I imaging I am more of a worry than anything else right now, and maybe my passing would bring relief. I have always told her that I gave her life and not a life sentence of looking after me.

    I doubt if I would be missed for more than a couple of weeks by anyone. Alas, it is a fact in this age of eyes down and screen clicking!

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    • mewhoami says:

      Grannymar,

      Being a daughter myself, of a wonderful mother, I can say this with complete sincerity. I highly doubt that you are a burden on your daughter. There is nothing in this world that is more precious and cherished than our mother. A daughter’s greatest fear is the day when her mother will no longer be here.

      Every moment of your life, every conversation and laugh you have with your daughter means more to her than you could imagine. Never think that your passing would bring her relief. Cherish every moment you have with her. Continue to teach her. Your lessons, your words, and your common phrases will stay with her forever. She will forever hear your voice. Love her. Laugh. Make each moment count. And never convince yourself that she would be better off without you. (That’s what I would say to my mom.)

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      • Grannymar says:

        I was about to switch off and have an early night when your comment came through.

        We do share plenty of memories and I know I did my best, skipping, hopping or jogging, hand in hand all the way to school each morning. The school was one mile away. I put effort into Elly’s Lunch Box, made cakes and buns to take to school for birthdays, made some clothes for her, back then. I made both her prom and wedding outfits, and dressed all the windows in her house when she and my son in law moved in.

        I do things automatically for people, so it would be up to them to share what they thought of me. I grew up to my mother’s mantra that “Self praise, was no praise!”.

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        • mewhoami says:

          It sounds like you were and always have been a wonderful mother. I’m sure those memories will always remain with her, just as they have with you.

          I like your mom’s mantra. She’s right. When we praise ourselves, our praise is meaningless. What others see in us and how we’ve impacted their life, that’s what matters.

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  4. April says:

    Ha! My cooking would be missed. My skills as a laundress, maid, and personal assistant will be missed. 😉

    Seriously though, this is a good thought to ponder. I sure my husband would miss my sense of humor.

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  5. LindaGHill says:

    That is thought-provoking. Interesting… 🙂

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  6. Doobster418 says:

    This assumes you have “presence.” Per my boss, you either have it or you don’t. And, as I posted yesterday, according to him, I don’t. [big sigh]

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  7. I know I would be missed! I am an amazing person! And I’m not being facetious, I truly believe in my worth. Also, I think about all of those that have moved or passed out of my life and the impact they had and know that we all matter!
    What a great question! It’s good to have kids think about the impact they have and the good they can leave behind.

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    • mewhoami says:

      Good for you Kate! I mean that. That’s great. You’re right – we all matter. No matter who we are or what we do, we matter. To those around us and the world as a whole. When a person is missing, it makes a difference. Yes, kids need to be taught about the good they leave behind. They should focusing on the good impacts they make, rather than on their faults.

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  8. Great question. I found out, when I was preparing for leaving Denmark to go to live in Spain. A lot of stuff came up then, from many people.
    Irene

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  9. Brilliant idea! And we do need to ask ourselves this. And it wouldn’t hurt to ask ourselves how each of the people in our lives matter to us as well. This past week has retaught me that. We do indeed matter. And we should indeed know it. Wonderful post.

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    • mewhoami says:

      That is a good question also. How do others matter in our lives? What would it be like if *they* were gone? Oh…that brings on many thoughts. Great addition CM!

      We do all matter. Everyone should be able to see that in themselves. Our importance in this life, is always bigger than we think.

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  10. Jenna Dee says:

    I think my children who are now independent adults would miss the way I make them feel special and loved every time I see them or speak with them on the phone. I know this is what I miss about my mother who passed away 7 years ago. Love to you from Jenna

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  11. Glynis Jolly says:

    Over 20 years ago, my husband and I moved the Greece for one of his assignments in the Air Force. Did anyone miss me. Yes, I think some did, although I’m sure it didn’t effect the way they lived their daily lives.

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    • mewhoami says:

      That’s quite a move. I believe your impact was probably much bigger than you think. We have an effect on people’s lives in a way, that many times, we’re not even fully aware of.

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  12. My place is caring for my mum at the moment and my young kids I know I matter, but I also know we are replaceable in the workforce etc. I think mostly I matter for family and few good solid friends. One life so precious and we only get one chance to make our presence felt.

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    • mewhoami says:

      You said that very well. We only get one chance. Let’s make it count. You’re right about workforce, but your family and friends can never replace you. We as individuals are irreplaceable.

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  13. suzjones says:

    Thank you for reminding me that I do matter. I may matter in different ways to different people but I do matter.
    Thank you. 🙂

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