I went to dinner with a married couple a while back. They were fishing through their coupons trying to find the one that would give them the best deal. The coupon of choice gave them a 2 for $20 deal. Since the deal did not include drinks, they decided to get two waters.
Then, someone else at the table offered to buy their meal for them. Suddenly the 2 for $20 deal changed considerably. They happily said “Oh!”, and then picked up the menus again. After going over the menu for a few minutes, they each ordered a $12-$14 plate, two drinks, an appetizer and two desserts. What was once $20, quickly became a meal for over $40 for just two people, simply because someone else was paying.
[If you’re dining with people who are known to do this, but you still want to pay for their meal, you can safely do so. Just wait until after they order, then tell them you’re paying. Problem solved.]
What makes a person feel that taking advantage of someone is okay? Would they want the same thing done to them? I seriously doubt it. What does that say about their character?
Using people and mooching off of them is never right, but people do it all the time. They will hint around or ask for anything in an effort to get something for free. It’s not only the people who are struggling financially who do this. I’ve seen people who are well off do the same.
It all goes back to the entitlement mentality. People feel that they are deserving of free service, free food and anything else they can get their hands on.
What ever happened to self-sufficient people? Why is it that people no longer seem to care whether or not they’re successful in life? When did it become okay to suck other people dry, without feeling even an ounce of guilt?
To clarify, if someone is truly in need and are putting effort into improving their situation, then by all means they deserve the help. People do struggle and go through hard times. However, it’s entirely different if their plan is merely to live off of others.
There are so many people who spend their days sitting around, doing their own thing, while refusing to go to work. In their mind they don’t need to, because they can live off the hard earned income of someone else.
A person will never learn to walk, if we’re always carrying them.
Me - Who am I? 
To upgrade after the offer to buy is so obnoxious I can hardly stand it.
The paying customer could have put down a twenty and said, ‘here you go, this is what the cost was when I said I’d pay.”
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I love that idea! That would have been great. It is obnoxious. I don’t understand how someone can feel good about doing that.
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I can’t believe they had the gall to order two desserts after they knew someone else was paying. I would have sat there cringing at this shocking behaviour. If they could not afford a nice dinner maybe they should have declined until they had enough money to go out, how rude! Blessings on the kind soul who paid for them…the good khama will find them and the universe will notice their generosity. The universe will also place a certain khama on those who leech on others.
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I did cringe. My face is very expressive, so had they looked at me, they would have seen just how rude I thought their behavior was. I didn’t say anything, but I sure wanted to. I completely agree with you. If they can’t afford it, then they shouldn’t be going in the first place. Yes, the person who paid will be repaid somehow for their kindness. What goes around comes around. One day they’ll get their ‘payment’ too.
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That really is the height of bad manners. If someone had said that to me I would have replied with “give me a budget”. But then I’m weird like that.
We often take our children out to eat and they will purposely order the cheapest thing on the menu until we insist it is okay. They might then change the meal slightly but they would never, ever order up big.
I guess this is something I’ve never had a lot of experience in, but for myself personally (because I am the way I am) taking advantage of an offer like that is a foreign concept to me.
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I agree! There’s bad and then there’s just plain rudeness. I don’t think your way of handling those situations is weird at all. That’s the way it should be. The people are already being kind enough to pay. They don’t deserve to be taken advantage of. Isn’t a simple (and free) meal good enough?
I’m like your children. I always pick the cheapest thing on the menu. I’ve heard others say, and I agree with, that they just order what they would normally order. That way they can’t be accused of ordering the cheapest (and making the payer feel bad), nor do they take advantage of the person buying.
It is a very foreign concept. I just wish it was foreign to everyone.
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So sad. It makes me wonder who failed these people when they were children. Then I go to hoping I can do a better job with my children.
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Excellent point Dave. People don’t normally fall too far from the tree. Maybe her parents taught her to lie. Who knows.
That makes two of us. By no means am I perfect parent. Far, far from it, but I do certainly try. There are just some things that people should know not to do.
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That is pathetic. I don’t care for people like this.
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That makes two of us.
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People are crazy!!!!
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I agree, Adrian!
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Oh so frustrating!!!!!!!!!!! At work there is a gentleman I have taken to lunch on a few occasions as a thank you for help he has given us. I admire his thoughtfulness and it took me a few times to grasp what he was doing. Even though he knew I was paying, as it was a thank you to him, he had me order first. Then he would order what ever I did!!!! Never more and never accepted my offer of dessert etc….unless I ordered it first. I hope to be that wonderful if someone takes me to lunch/dinner.
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I like how you used ‘gentleman’ in this case instead of ‘man’, because in this case the man is a gentleman. The way he handles himself and his choices, during lunch speaks very highly of his character. That’s the way people should be.
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Amen. It was a great lesson to learn for myself as well. He handled it so well and it made sense!
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There always seems to be one rotten apple among a group. Some people see themselves in ways I could never imagine. Many times I’m picking my jaw off the table. The same goes for the entitlement issue. There are many people who may need help or assistance. Hard working people faced with some life changing event. But, there are the rotten apples who sit back and manipulate the system. My question, how do they live with themselves?
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I’ve heard and read (sometimes first hand) that some people simply like it better that way. It’s easier they say, to live off the government than it is to be self-sufficient. When I was growing up that would have been an embarrassment, not something to gloat about. I don’t understand it.
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I personally know of “disabled” people who live off the taxpayers. People who can learn a new trade because they can no longer do physical things–yet they have evidence that they can build and do physical things while living off us.
My sister, who is crippled from Multiple Sclerosis, isn’t even on disability. My sister who passed away last March, was supposed to go to work the day she died. She never had a chance to hear her alarm.
I don’t understand either.
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Oh boy. April don’t get me started. I know two people, in which one is perfectly capable of working but strives to be on disability. The other has serious physical aliments which would make most people give up in a heartbeat. Yet, he goes to work every single day and works up to 60 hours a week. Amazing person!
These people that are capable should be so grateful, because like your sister, they may not have another day to enjoy. Why waste that time? I can almost ‘hear’ your frustration when speaking about your siblings. To know that even they, with their illnesses, still lived life while others who are fine just sit around, must be highly frustrating.
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It is. And those people “friends” seriously tick me off.
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If they had done that to me I would have told them never mind.
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That would have been an option for sure, but what goes around comes around. Some day they will be treated the same way and hopefully then they’ll understand how it feels to be taken advantage of.
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Amen, sistah, amen!
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🙂 Glad you agree.
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