Training Children to Lie

At most buffet restaurants, kids up to a certain age get discounted prices. The other day, we went to one of these places. While the cashier was ringing up our bill, she turned and asked my son how old he was. He accurately told her, “14.” She looked at me and made the statement, “I train my kids to lie about their age.”

Two things bothered me about this. First, was that in other words, the employee was practically telling me to have my son lie at her place of employment. What kind of employee wants to cheat their company out of profits? Furthermore, in doing so, she was risking losing her job. I imagine that if a manager would have heard that statement, she may have been out looking for another job today.

The second reason is obvious, or should be. Why would someone want to train their kids to lie? Okay, I will admit that it would be nice if my son still qualified for discounted meal prices at restaurants. When he became too old for them, I was disappointed at the higher expense of dining out. Regardless, the thought of lying about his age never crossed my mind. It definitely didn’t cross my mind to have my son lie about it.

I love the honesty of children. You can’t find anyone as honest as a child. They will be the first to tell you exactly what you don’t want to hear. Are you wondering if your weight gain is noticeable? Ask a child. Can people see that zit on your nose? In the presence of a child, you’ll get the answer to your question within 5 minutes.

My son is very honest, unless he thinks he’s going to get in trouble. One day, while standing in a group of people, he looked over at me with a sideways expression and said, “Mom, your hair is sticking out everywhere.” As he began to point at each spot he says, “Right here and right here…and right here.” Louder and louder he got, until everyone was looking over at me. Thanks son. That’s great. Now stop.

Although he has a habit of being honest at the wrong times and loudly, I do appreciate his honesty. The one thing I don’t want, is for him to lie and I’m definitely not going to train him to do so.

In regard to the restaurant, if I have to lie to get a discount on my son’s meal because I can’t pay full price, then I shouldn’t be dining out to begin with. I should be cooking at home.

We get so angry and hurt when our kids lie to us. As parents, we expect and need our children to respect us. This includes them being honest and trustworthy. The most powerful thing I ever heard my mother say to me was, “I don’t trust you anymore.” To lose my mother’s trust, even temporarily, was an awful feeling. A feeling I have never forgotten.

Because of that, I can’t comprehend how we as parents would be the ones to purposely teach our children to lie. Isn’t that the one thing we don’t want them to do?

It may seem harmless at first. However, once we teach them to lie about their age, what’s to stop them from lying about anything else? At that point, they’ve been taught and believe that lying is okay. It’s not their fault. They’re just practicing what they’ve been taught.

These kids that we’re raising are going to be the next doctors, police officers, politicians and leaders. Don’t we want them to be honest people?

Don’t we want the next generation of leaders to be better than this one?