Why ask a question if you don’t want an honest answer? The fact is, is that normally they do want the honest answer. It’s just that when they receive the truth, they can’t handle it. That’s a common struggle for many people. They ask questions, looking for sugar coated answers. When someone is honest with them, they get hurt.
Even though the truth can be painful, it’s also needful. How can a person ever learn anything or grow, if they never accept the truth?
In most cases, people don’t enjoy hurting others. If they’re hurting you by answering your questions honestly, then eventually they’ll stop being honest with you. No one wants a bunch of dishonest people walking around them, on egg shells. To reduce the risk of this, only ask questions when you are prepared to hear the truth. Otherwise, don’t ask. That will save time and unneeded heartache for all parties involved.
How about constructive criticism? Can you handle that? Even though this feedback is used to encourage someone to improve, it can sometimes be hard to swallow. Most people want to do their best at everything. Therefore, it’s frustrating when we learn that we are not meeting expectations.
Offering constructive criticism to someone can be a bit concerning, because people often get offended by it. Because of that, many people question as to whether their suggestions are worth the risk of possibly upsetting someone. Constructive criticism can be offensive for a variety of reasons.
The recipient may be too prideful to accept it. There are people who simply refuse the help of others and because of that, no one can help them. Unfortunately for them, all we can do is let them be.
As for others, their offense is usually a result of embarrassment, self disappointment or low self confidence. However, these people are different than the prideful ones, as they will eventually accept the feedback. Outwardly, they may appear agitated and may even snap back. But, give it time. Once they get over having their feelings hurt, your feedback will most likely be received.
If you are one of those people who get offended by the advice and opinions of others, please keep in mind that most of the time, it’s not done out of spite. Their constructive criticism is offered out of care and concern, for your benefit. That’s why it’s called ‘constructive’. It’s meant to be helpful.
The only way that we can grow and improve, is by listening and learning from others. Although we see ourselves everyday, our view is very limited. People on the outside can often see us much more clearly than we can.
I’ve learned a great deal about myself through what others have shown me. I live with me, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I see ‘me’ the way that others do. Because of that, I’ve learned that it’s important to listen, even when it hurts.
Can you handle the truth?