Women are supposed to be emotional. That’s how we’re wired. For some reason though, I never have been, at least not outwardly. Of course if there is a tragedy involved, emotions are hard to avoid.
I hide mine, often times even from myself. For example, crying. Most women cry a lot and seemingly over everything. I am not one of them. Honestly, crying gets on my nerves – when I do it. Of course, I don’t mind when others do. In fact, if they come to me during those times, it makes me feel needed and trusted. That, I greatly appreciate. I just can’t stand it when I do it.
Much to my dismay, since yesterday everything is making me tear up. It’s ridiculous. Yesterday, I almost cried over getting new carpet. Then, I teared up at something cute that I saw a child do. So, as I went to bed last night I was trying to figure out what my problem was, hoping that by morning I would be over it.
I wasn’t. This morning after my son left for school, I read a post from someone about memories. The details in the post brought up a bunch of memories that I’ve been trying (and frequently failing) to keep tucked away. Painful memories. So, I spent a good 30 minutes bawling like a baby.
Oddly enough, it almost felt good and I’m thankful for the post that started it this morning. Burying your feelings doesn’t make them go away. You have to face them at some point whether you want to or not, and sometimes over and over again. Even though it’s painful, it’s necessary for your mental well-being.
I try very hard to be tough in front of people (including myself) and act like nothing bothers me. I don’t like feeling emotions. They bug me. But the truth is, that I’m not nearly as strong as I pretend to be. There’s still a little girl hiding inside who has plenty of feelings and experiences hurt.
Maybe letting all of that out this morning was exactly what I needed in order to have a zen Christmas.
This is not a ‘pity me’ post. It’s merely to say, that you don’t have to be strong. Having weaknesses is what makes us human. It’s okay to have emotions. That just means that we’re alive.
Me - Who am I? 
You don’t always have to be strong, perfect. Being strong doesn’t mean you don’t have a weak moment. 🙂 I’m glad you are on your way to a zen Christmas. 🙂
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You’re absolutely right. Thank you!
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There is often nothing more healing than a cry. I know I need to take the time and have the courage to face my sadness at the moment but I just don’t want to go there. Instead I am all over the place, sometimes in good form, sometimes ready to commit murder.
My little one was in her concert last night. As you know two children were so very sadly missing. During the practices my daughter struggled to get through one of the songs about being a friend with a shoulder to cry on. What she said was, “I try my best not to cry but in the end my eyes get too full and they spill”.
As it turned out she was great on the night. Maybe it was the good cry that got her through!
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Tric, I’m so sorry! I missed this and it was a year ago. I don’t know why all the comments don’t show up in my notifications. Please forgive. Crying is healing, but like you I rather avoid it and put my mind on other things. You’re right about how it can make us go mad though. It would be so much more beneficial to face our problems and let the emotions flow.
Your daughter’s words are so innocent, yet heartbreaking. I’m glad to hear that she made it through the performance well. I know it must have been incredibly difficult for her.
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Since my mom is here, I was asking her if there was a time when I jumped up and down, excited about something. Even after I receive positive CT scan results, everybody around me is very excited, and I am stoic. I feel like crying…cried over the loss of my family members, but I also hold in my emotions. It doesn’t make us weak if we cry. By the way, emotions bug me too. 🙂
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Isn’t it interesting how it’s not only a lack of emotion for the bad things, but also for good? Those results would have had most people shouting with joy.
I understand though. People who give me gifts would generally have no idea that I like them. Like you, I’m not good at showing my excitement either.
You’re right though. It doesn’t make us weak.
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Oh, I’m shouting for joy—it’s just all on the inside.
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I’m not a crier either. I hate the way I look when I cry. I hate the way my eyes feel too. There are times when I think that what I need is a good cry but it just isn’t going to happen. The tears won’t tumble out. I’m glad you got over the hump. I hope I do some day.
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Oh yes, people don’t cry in a pretty way, like they show in the movies. Crying is uncomfortable and awkward. Well I had somewhat of a minor breakdown, but I’m almost positive that I haven’t gotten over the hump yet.
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I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry at soapies on tv. It’s just ridiculous. And I get angry at myself when I do. However, I also realise that a lot of my wanting to cry all the time isn’t just depression, it is those bloody hormones!!!! It sucks being a female sometimes. lol
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Those silly hormones. They sure can be a pain sometimes. Men say they can’t understand us – no wonder! Even we can’t sometimes, with all these hormones we have to deal with.
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Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow.
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