My son’s school is on lock down. Why, you ask? Because children aren’t taught morals anymore. It’s because their parents are too busy to teach them love or to care for them properly. Tomorrow is the anniversary for the Sandy Hook shooting. In honor of that, one of our local schools is currently surrounded by police because there is a shooter inside.
Not only is this a tragedy, it’s highly frustrating. Guns are not the problem. It’s how these children are being raised. That’s the problem. I remember when the only emergency drills that I had to have with my son were for tornadoes and earthquakes.
Now, I have to have “shooting” drills in my home. Really? How sad is it that we as parents must act out a school shooting, so that our children can be prepared for such an event? I’ve had that drill with my son, twice. We went over everything from what a gun sounds like, to where to hide and what to do in order to escape. Imagine that. The point that we as parents even have to do that is completely absurd and heartbreaking.
So as my son’s school sits in lock down, I hope that people will start paying more attention to their children. If they have issues, help them. Don’t just think that since they’re a ‘kid’ that they can’t have real problems. They can. If you don’t believe me, then turn on the news right now.
We as parents need to help these kids. There is no excuse for such behavior. It is our responsibility to teach them right from wrong. It is our responsibility to teach them and show them love for their fellow man. This is a lost generation, and it will require the work of each one of us to change it.
Me - Who am I? 
I hope your son is okay? Is he home with you? Oh, this is just so sad.
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Thank you! He’s okay. Should be home shortly. It’s just so frustrating what this world is coming to.
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I’m glad he is okay.
Just to inject a lighter note into this post, I have nominated you for the Dragon’s Loyalty Award. Thanks so much for supporting me and my blog. It truly is appreciated.
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Thank you! I truly appreciate it and I enjoy your blog very much. Thank you in return for supporting me.
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Praying for your son. We are just getting news reports here in Canada (if it’s the one in Colorado)
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Thank you, Ryan! He’s okay. It’s just such a shame that these things happen.
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Glad he’s ok!
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Reblogged this on allaboutmanners.
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Thank you for the Reblog!
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That’s horrible that you now have to act out the school shooting scenario at home in case it happens. I used to work at a university just minutes from Sandy Hook and I remember when that happened last year, how sick to my stomach I got. I cannot imagine the anxiety it is to have a child in a school on lockdown. I’m glad he’s okay, and I’m happy you wrote this. It speaks volumes for what many people are ignoring.
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J,
I can only imagine the intensity you all must have felt being in such close proximity of the school that day. What a terrible tragedy that was. Thankfully, today’s situation got stopped before it was able to escalate that much. Regardless, it’s so sad that we have to deal with these things. It shouldn’t be that way. Thank you so much for your comment and your kind words!
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I have a theory about this, but I’m sure it’s not popular, and I am tired of defending myself—that’s why I broke up with Facebook—I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.
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I’d like to hear it, if you’d like to share it. Often times it’s the “unpopular” theories that are the right ones.
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I just think that our culture isn’t the same as it was in say—the 50s. Life is different, family life isn’t the same. Young people are exposed to things that weren’t imagined back then. Kids seem to be kind of “distant” from their peers, but heavily influenced by their peers at the same time. Instead of having family time, kids are placed in front of a computer screen or the tv as a babysitter, because parents are exhausted after their work day.
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I agree 100% with everything you just said. There is a huge difference these days in what kids are exposed to, the way they are raised and how homes are run. There really should be no question as to why society is the way it is. It’s very obvious really. Thank you April, for sharing your theory. Also, please know that your opinions are always welcome with me. Whether we agree or not, you’ll remain my blogging friend. 🙂
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🙂 I’m so glad that your son is okay, and it really hurts my heart that we have to have these conversations with our kids.
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Thank you very much.
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Your theory was unpopular because it was true. People do not want to face up to the truth. My wife and I agree with you wholeheartedly! !
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I agree.
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I also believe we have a serious problem with our mental health system. We tried the “lock up all the loonies”,and that didn’t work. There is such a stigma, as well as lack of affordability.
The mass shootings we have had in the US are mostly by young people. These people are slipping through some HUGE cracks. A good percentage of the responsibility lies on the parent’s shoulders to recognize the illness and get help for their child. Kids may not ask for help, and due to the stigma, may be unwilling to ask. I’m not too sure, but I have an idea that our understanding of how to treat mental illness in the young, is still a bit of a mystery. But maybe that is just my perception.
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April, I think that you are absolutely right. It’s a learning process and as children continue to be exposed to new things it will continue to be.
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I agree wholeheartedly, April. If more parents would actually parent their children, participate in their lives and upbringing – rather than ignore and let video games/TV/computer/iPhone do the job – violent rampages such as this would decrease dramatically. You’re right, Mewhoami… There is no excuse for behavior such as this. None
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Pardenme, thank you for your comment. There does need to be much more parental involvement than there is now in so many homes. It’s truly sad that it’s come to this.
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I am so thrilled to find someone who thinks as I do. Parents create serial killers, rapists and mentally depressed children by abusing their children by beating them, neglecting them, sexually molesting them and emotionally depriving them. The world can’t move forward until people learn how to be parents.
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I completely agree! It’s up to us as parents to do our job. We weren’t given kids to just hand them over to the world. We were given them in order to teach them and to help them to succeed in this world. They’re precious gifts and should be treated as such. Thank you so much for your comment!
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You are welcome. I look forward to reading your posts.
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I agree with much of what you say. And I’m very sorry to hear your son’s school is on “lockdown.” We raised two kids, and I would be even more saddened and outraged if that had happened in their school.
But your solution to the problem is way too narrow and pat. Lack of parental love and attention encourages kids to seek attention elsewhere, and that attention often collides with violence. I’m not a child psychologist, but I don’t think that having “shooting drills” in your home will have much effect – other than perhaps frighten your kids even more. I also vehemently disagree that guns are not a part of the problem. This is the single most obvious problem. America has 4 times the child gun death rate of its closest country, Canada (and 65 times that of Britain and Germany). We also have the greatest per capita concentration of firearms and the loosest gun laws of any country in the free world. It doesn’t take a genius to see there’s a connection.
So many people want to blame one area: guns, parenting, Hollywood, video game industry, mental health, poverty… It is a multi-fold problem, and until we do ALL we can in ALL these areas, the problem of gun violence and childhood gun fatalities in the U.S. will, unfortunately, continue to escalate.
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Yes, it is narrow. I wrote this quickly, based upon what I feel is the main cause behind these situations. You are right that the answer to this problem involves many areas that must be corrected. It’s also not a “one size fits all” problem. There are different reasons across the board.
My son is very aware of shootings going on in schools via the news and the teachers themselves. He needs to know what to do in case that ever happens in his school. Just like a tornado, he needs to know how to survive it. I believe that I would be a terrible mother if I did not teach him, but instead let him become a sitting duck. I know my son and if I don’t teach him and have practice drills, he would freeze and would very likely be one of the first ones gunned down. Maybe it’s not right for every child, but I sure want mine to be prepared.
The debate on guns has been going on for some time now and will likely continue to do so. Fact is, guns don’t kill people. People kill people. In this day and age, the bad guys will have guns no matter what the law dictates. People need to be able to defend themselves. With that said however, there should be a lot more safety precautions and right vs wrong taught to children if there is going to be a gun in the home.
I realize that we disagree on a few areas, but I do really appreciate your comment and opinions. This is a sensitive topic and everyone has their own beliefs. I appreciate you sharing yours.
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Amen.
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Thank you Lynda!
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I have a theory too, as someone who doesn’t live in your country. Stop letting people have guns!
Of course crazys are going to get their hands on them. This post has me sitting here shaking my head incredulous that an intelligent nation allows this and treats the problem backwards, ie teach them what to do after the horse has bolted!
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That’s the thing. It would be great to implement a “no gun” law if we could take them away from everyone. But, as you said, the bad guys will always have guns. So, the rest of us need to be able to protect ourselves. If someone breaks into my home with a gun, my phone call to the police will have little to no effect on them. However, if I too have a gun then I could likely scare them off.
Regardless, kids need to be taught safety if there’s going to be a gun in the house. It’s completely irresponsible for a parent to have one without properly educating their child with safety precautions and of right vs wrong.
It’s a sticky topic. I’m not sure there’s a black and white answer to this.
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In this country very few have guns. No private citizens have them nor do the police. We have an armed response unit who are allowed to carry guns.
We do not have the same level of gun crime you have. It begs the question is the arming of all the cause or the answer?
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I think having everyone unarmed would be the answer, *if* we could go back in time and begin out that way. But now, with so many having them, I don’t know what the answer would be. I for one am not anti-gun. I believe that the cause is more about who people have become. But, I also think it’s great the way your country handles these things.
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Society and the youth…what a terrible mess and its a GLOBAL issue! In South Africa its EXTREMELY difficult to obtain a gun licence, but every little two bit criminal has one and uses it at will. Someone breaks into your house etc… here and you shoot him defending your family and self, then you face charges. Great piece of writing and don’t give up. Teach the drills and be prepared cause in this day in age you just unfortunately never know.
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Camzain,
Thank you for your comment. You are right. The people who are defending themselves end up being the ones who face charges. It’s ridiculous and completely backwards from how it should be. We should have the right to protect ourselves and our family. I for one, can’t and won’t sit with my head in the sand and act like nothing will happen. Criminal acts happen all the time, anywhere and to anyone. We shouldn’t live in fear, but we should definitely be prepared.
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Although I agree in part about your post, I believe many factors are left out of the equation. Today is the anniversary of the school massacre in Sandy Hook, CT. I grew up not too far from there. Last year, I wrote a few blogs as a different author on guns, violence and boys. I am a counselor and a mother of a baby boy. I strongly disagree that GUNS DON’T KILL PEOPLE. That is a ridiculous statement because guns DO KILL PEOPLE. GUNS are designed to KILL, that is there ONLY FUNCTION. If the BOY and I emphasize the word BOY responsible for the massacre did not have access to GUNS and BULLETS all those children and educators would most likely be alive. His mother bought those guns and those bullets and kept them in a house with her son, who she taught to shoot AND knew he was struggling with mental health issues. This is HER RESPONSIBILITY in this massacre and it was her CHOICE to keep these weapons in her home. She also, was killed by her son. Mental illness is an issue here. It is beyond manners or morals. My understanding was she was trying to get him help and was struggling to get what she needed.
However, ALL mental health workers KNOW you ask about GUNS when you are dealing with mental illness-particularly anyone who is exhibiting suicidal or homicidal traits. You cannot “love” a mentally ill person well. People who live with mentally ill family members need to REMOVE ALL GUNS AND BULLETS from their homes-PERIOD. People who own guns and bullets must have a multi-level security system in place, so that in the heat of anyone’s passion, it takes SEVERAL STEPS to access any gun and ammunition. This allows for a cool down period and hopefully some rational thought to enter the person’s mind. I agree that we should not have to teach our children about this type of thing. And yet we do, because there is currently no SANE gun control and NO RESPONSIBILITY taken by the gun industry that GUNS KILL PEOPLE. Lastly, we are isolated. Parents and children are on their phones, texting, tweeting and online more than ever being actually connecting in real life, face to face, human contact situations. Look at yourselves, your children, are you on your phone or are you actually present? Virtual reality is NOT REALITY. We have to create real connection and turn it ALL OFF. Having the courage to be present is something we all need to model to our children.
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Doppledanger,
I completely agree that if there is a mentally ill person in the home, that there should be no guns. To put a gun in the home with them is completely irresponsible and is practically asking for trouble. Mentally ill people should have the proper resources they need in order to be helped and definitely should not be overlooked.
As for guns killing people – yes, the bullet inside of the gun is what physically kills the person who is shot. But, a gun does not fire on its own. The person holding the gun fires the gun. The person who fires the gun is the one who kills. The gun is only the device that is used to do so. If a person really wants to kill someone, they will do it with any object available. That would mean that knives kill, hammers kill and sometimes even scissors kill (silly example, but true). To say that an object is to blame is absurd. It’s not the object. It’s the person holding the object. With that said, I do value your opinion. You have the right to have it. We all have opinions on matters and although they may differ, we each have the right to share them. So, thank you for sharing yours.
I also agree that people need to step away from their virtual world and get in touch with the real world. The real world needs us. Our children need us. If they are neglected they will seek out attention and more times than not, it is bad attention. We need to be the parents that we’re supposed to be.
Thank you for your comment.
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Here in Australia, we had a massacre in 1996 and the country plunged into grief. The government at the time (with HUGE opposition from the gun lobby) changed legislation, made it more difficult to access guns, undertook a massive buy-back of guns, and virtually eliminated mass shootings overnight. All those arguments (guns do not kill, people do) were used by the gun lobby at the time. However, the truth is that it the countries which have greater access to guns that have the greater problem with shootings, not the countries with a higher mental health problem. I am so grateful that our government took the action that it did that allows us now to enjoy such relative peace and freedom.
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It is wonderful that your country was able to turn it’s self around and improve the country as a whole. I won’t deny that there does need to be some type of change. The way that everything is going right now is obviously not working. Thank you very much for your comment.
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I hear ya. It is sad that this kind of drill should even be imposed upon the children.
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Yes it is. Very sad.
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We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. While I totally relate to your frustration about the lack of responsive, responsible parenting, mental health issues and easy access to firearms are the reason the US is facing an epidemic of gun massacres. Other places in the world do not have this. An occasions and highly unusual outburst of gun violence, yes. But year after year the nightmare scenarios we’re seeing in your country is alarming.
I guess it’s a cultural difference. The “protecting yourself” argument is also very American. I don’t get it. That’s what police are for. If you confront a dangerous criminal with a gun he’s just as likely to use it on you. But the real danger and heartbreak is the much greater problem of accidental shootings and fatal domestic violence. Remember the myth of stranger danger? We now know that the real danger is from those closest to us, that focusing on protecting ourselves against the very unlikely scenario of stranger abduction caused more problems because children weren’t prepared for the most prevelant threat – the one close to home. Guns in the house are the same.
One study I read concluded that the presence of a gun in the home increases personal risk of suicide 5X and homicide 3X. I’m not sure about accidental shootings, but I’m guessing it’s even higher. I’m not an expert, but anyone who wants to own a gun should research this themselves and not just take the NRAs word for anything.
Sorry for the ramble. As a Canadian I do love the US, but some things seem so bizarre to me. You can get a gun so easily, but you have to pay for medical help… weird.
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So Here’s Us – I greatly appreciate your opinion and willingness to agree to disagree.
The first part of your comment that caught my attention was “That’s what police are for.” I would agree, if the police would arrive during a sufficient time frame. For large crime scenes, such as the school, they do a great job of this. However, in all my experiences and those I’ve witnessed, the police take way too long to arrive. By the time they finally get there, the criminal is long gone and the victim is either a violated wreck or dead. So, as much as I would love to be able to count on the police, I can’t.
You are right that our ways here are much different than many other places. Perhaps we do have it all backwards. Having never lived abroad, I suppose there is no way for me (and many others) to truly know which would be better. Living here, is all I know. I form my opinions based off of the way I was raised in America, what I’ve learned and the standards that we used to have and no longer do. I’ve seen it decay little by little with each passing year. I cannot say that you’re wrong or right or that I am. I just know that something is obviously not working.
Also, I appreciate the information and stats that you provided. It’s good to see that someone is researching, rather than restating what they’ve heard from the news or someone else.
That’s one thing that frustrates me here so much. People see the front page news and form all their decisions based off of that alone. There is much more going on behind the scenes and what the news media wants us to believe. Unfortunately, people rather keep their head in the sand, than learn the truth of what’s really going on. That is one very big reason why our country is the way it is now and continues to worsen.
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