As He Waits

man stairsIt was a dreadful looking place. Garbage was thrown about everywhere and mice ran around searching for food. The walls were peeling, the steps cracked and the windows barred. Inside of the dwelling, lived single men, women and entire families. Through the hallway was a stench of cigarette smoke and marijuana.

It was a cold night. There was a man on the stairs.

He wore old, torn clothing that was covered in the stains of the week. His uncombed hair could be seen sticking out from under his hood. His front teeth were missing and his facial hair was thick and unkempt. He was alone and waiting.

Waiting on no one.

His demeanor was tough, but his eyes revealed that of a scared and lonely boy. He spoke of how he had lived many lives throughout his years. He mentioned how he was a loner and cared about no one. People were only a nuisance to him, but the boy within was crying out for a friend; for love.

He spoke of how he stood there that night as a teenaged boy, having no cares for tomorrow and no hopes for the future. He was 45. His teenage years had long passed, yet his life remained on hold.

He was alone, and waiting. Waiting to die.

Times have changed. It used to be that parents wanted their children to have greater success than they themselves had. No matter if they were living at poverty level or upper class, children were taught that they could always do better. Now days, more and more people are telling their children, “This is the hand life deals you, so live with it.” They give their children no hope for the future.

This man has lived 45 years of his life believing that he has been dealt a lousy hand and that there is nothing he can do to change it. That is his life. That is all he knows. No one has ever taught him any different. So he wakes up day after day, to wait.

We don’t have to wait to die. We can live. There is no limit to what we can do.

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7 Responses to As He Waits

  1. April says:

    We can live. We are a young person, financially and emotionally. She is seeking therapy, but what her parents pounded into her head for so long, has made her lose hope. We are trying to show her that she can have what she wants, but life takes work. I have lived in the sad place where I was waiting to die. I’m so happy that I found my way out and have been learning to live.


    • mewhoami says:

      By you learning to live, you are now able to help others. That is a wonderful thing. It breaks my heart to see people who believe that there is no hope. Words can quickly destroy a person and often times people don’t even realize what they are doing to that person. It’s very sad and then they spend their lives working to recover from it.


      • April says:

        What breaks my heart, she is expecting them to recognize what they did to her, and to apologize. I told her that she can’t change them, she is going to have to find a way to accept that fact. All she can do is change her reactions.


        • mewhoami says:

          You’re right. She can only change herself. Maybe one day they’ll see what they’ve done, but in the meantime she needs to prove to herself what she is capable of. And with your help she’ll be better able to do that.


  2. April says:

    *correction* we are helping a young person.


  3. Glynis Jolly says:

    I think all of it is a ‘catch 22’. If you tell your children that they can be more than what you are, they end up disappointed, depressed and suicidal if it doesn’t happen for them. If you tell they that life is cruel and they need to just deal with it, the same thing happens. Maybe we focus too much on the future all together.


    • mewhoami says:

      I understand your point and there is a fine line between the two. However, I believe that all children (all people in general) should be taught that they can achieve success in life. My mother always enforced how she wanted me to do better in life than she had done; and she had done well. That motivated me to work harder in life and I’ll be forever thankful that she believed in me and helped me to succeed.


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