Would you leave everything you know and move across the globe for the sake of love? Speaking with a woman the other day, she told me of how she met her husband through an acquaintance of hers. They lived in different countries at the time, so their relationship was mainly built upon the letters exchanged between them. After only six months, never having seen each other but in pictures, she left her home country and headed to America to be with him.
When she left, she was only 22 years old. Leaving everything behind that she had ever known, including her entire family, she ventured off to make a life with someone she barely knew. With very little understanding of the English language, she put her entire trust in that man to take care of her. Thankfully he did, and after 21 years he’s still taking care of her. They now have three beautiful children and have made a wonderful life together.
From an outsider’s point of view, she was very courageous in making that move. Marrying anyone can be risky, but nothing compared to that of marrying someone you hardly know and who lives across the globe. Perhaps this is so hard for me to understand because I grew up not trusting men. I didn’t trust them as far as I could throw them. This woman on the other hand, put her entire life in a stranger’s hands. A man’s hands. That is terrifying to me. That decision could have ended very badly. Fortunately in her case, it turned out quite well.
Anyone who has been in more than one relationship, has surely felt pain. But does a person experience so much pain, that they must look outside of their own country for love? Ironically, a man last night answered that for me. In conversation, he spoke of how a woman had caused him so much hurt, that he is now completely fed up with American women. He’s vowed to himself, that if he is ever to marry again, it will be with someone from a different country.
What would make him say such a thing? There are plenty of good American women. However, to be fair I must also consider his point of view. Some women here can be tough, selfish, bossy, and downright mean toward their spouses. I’ve seen them first hand. I realize that this happens everywhere, but it seems to be more prevalent here. Often times, in other countries, women seem to have more respect for their husbands, put their families first, cherish their time together and work to make their home a peaceful place full of love and laughter.
I’ve also run into plenty of men here who have no concern for their spouse or their children. Again, this does not apply to every man and can happen anywhere. In fact, I’ve experienced this the hard way with someone from another country. Even so, after speaking with men from various places such as Nepal, Africa, Haiti and India (just to name a few), I’ve learned that they typically put their families before everything. They are kind and loving to their children and spend quality time with their family each day. They also work to support their families, but unlike many Americans, they don’t work 3 jobs to make that extra dollar. That’s not because they don’t need to. I’m sure they could use the additional cash. It’s because they value their family more than they do money.
In summary, this really isn’t about people from specific places. There are both good and bad people everywhere. This is more about the values and morals that are steadily being lost in this country. It saddens me. This is not the world in which I grew up in. People cause so much hurt to their fellow man without a second thought. Should it be surprise then that people believe that they must look somewhere else just to find love? No. But, they shouldn’t need to. Love and true companionship should be easy to find wherever you are.
The fact is, there are millions of good catches both here in America and everywhere else. People who will love you and treat you right. They’re just not as easy to find these days.
Why do you think that people journey across the globe in search of love, and would you?
(This post has been edited. The original was not worded in a way that sat well with me, so it has been revised to add clarity and to clear up any potential misunderstandings.)