Why do you do what you do? Is it because you want to or because you have to? Someone recently asked me that. There is a big difference between the two. It is visible to others when you are only doing something because you have to. It is shown in your facial expressions, body language and heard in your words. Even when you try to cover it up, it’s still visible to those who are paying attention.
There are many things in life that we do solely because we have to. Go to work, attend school and pay taxes. There are also things in life that we have to do for the sake of others. For instance, have a serious conversation, sacrifice our time or compromise for someone. For some people even waking up can be a chore. This list could go on and on.
The point is, is how we react to something is insight into our true feelings on the matter. If we do things grudgingly, then it obviously means that we don’t want to do it. Even still, sometimes it’s something we must do, so we carry on. But, what if our lack of interest is effecting those around us? Our reactions, although unintentional, can hurt people and make them feel unwanted, or even disliked. I don’t imagine that most of us set out to hurt others, so how do we overcome this? How do we make a ‘have to’ into a ‘want to’? By changing the situation, I suppose. That’s the obvious answer. What if it’s unchangeable? Then what? We can change our perspective.
Sometimes it takes an awful lot of soul searching to find out why it is that we feel and react the way we do. Is it us, them or the situation? Maybe it’s all three. Whatever the case may be, sometimes all we can do is change the way we look at things. Perhaps we have gotten ourselves into a habit of always looking at something a certain way. Not everything in life is black and white, nor does everything in life stay the same. To first correct a problem, we may have to take a step back and re-evaluate ourselves and our situation. Then and only then, can the proper solution be found.
Do we do it because we want to or because we have to? The answer makes a big difference.