There are many things that my son should be doing by now without me having to say a word, but he doesn’t. Instead, he waits to be prompted. So, when he’s not with me he forgets to do these simple every day tasks entirely. For years, week after week, I’ve been discouraged wondering how I will ever convince him that these tasks are important. I have tried to teach him this in many ways, yet nothing seems to make a difference.
Yesterday, as I was once again lecturing him for not handling his responsibilities, it hit me that the problem was not him. It was me. For the past 14 years I have told my son what to do, when to do it and where to do it. He’s never really had to think for himself. There was no need to, as I was always there to do it for him. For years, I thought he was being lazy or just didn’t care about his responsibilities. In fact, it was me who never taught him to be any other way. I can’t expect him to do something on his own if I’ve never taught him how. (light bulb moment)
If I ever want him to grow up, then I have to stop thinking for him. He must learn to think for himself. It’s ridiculous that it’s taken this long for me to figure this out, but better late than never. We started this new adventure today and I can already tell that it’s going to require a lot of discipline from both of us. I have to train myself to step back and be quiet. That can be hard for a parent to do. It’s much easier to baby our kids, but unfortunately they’ll never grow up that way.
Lesson: The great part of realizing your mistakes is that you can correct them.