Child support is a good resource, when it’s used appropriately. It is meant to assist the custodial parent by supplying the funds necessary to take care of a child’s needs. I used the word assist here, because this financial responsibility should be on both parents. Each parent should have an equal share.
Many people are good about sharing the load when it comes to their children. They are mature about the situation and handle matters in a reasonable and fair manner. If this is you, I commend you! However, there are others who do the complete opposite. There are fathers who refuse to pay a dime or have gone off the radar entirely. There are also mothers who milk the man for all he’s worth and gives absolutely none of it to the child. That’s the part I’m going to focus on.
Many women receive money for child support and spend it only on themselves. The child sees not even a penny of it. I’ve known of people who get well over $1000 a month in child support and their kids complain because they can’t even afford a $30 pair of shoes. That support is meant for the child, not for the parent. It should help pay for bills that are directly related to the child, but it should not go into the mother’s pocket and should definitely not be her sole income.
There are women I know who are sitting at home, refusing to work, because they know that at the end of the month a check will arrive in the mail that will pay for everything. That is, everything except what the child needs. In my book, that’s called theft. When did it become okay to steal from your child? I feel for these kids and also for their fathers. He’s out there working like a mad man trying to provide for his kids and they’re running around hungry, wearing raggedy clothes. Meanwhile, their mom is at home enjoying her big screen tv, new car and fancy furniture.
The sad part is, is that people continue to get away with it. I know of kids who never knew that their fathers were sending money each month. The kids worked odd jobs so they could buy their own clothing and food, because they thought their dad had run off, leaving their mom broke, struggling to pay for everything herself.
I believe that there needs to be a way of monitoring the use of child support funds. There are too many children who are not having their needs met and too many fathers being taken advantage of. There needs to be a change. A real one.
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I agree. My youngest son has a friend who lost his mother at the age of 10. He received Social Security benefits from his mom’s death that he was going to use for college. His dad spent the money on the remodel of their house. I’m not sure what happened to this kid…we haven’t seen him in about a year. His dad kicked him out of the house on his 18th birthday. He stayed with us a couple of nights, and off into the world he went with his determination. Breaks my heart.
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That’s terrible. I don’t understand how or why a person would do that, especially to their own child. I wish that young man all the best in his endeavors, regardless of the hurdles put in his way. Money changes people. I think sometimes people don’t even realize who they’ve become or what they’re doing. It clouds their mind.
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Then you have fathers who refuse to pay and use every trick in the book to dodge payment (or reduce it). When my son as growing up, his father used to give me $40 a month! That wasn’t even enough to feed him for 3 days (boy that kid could eat). lol
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That’s really a shame. Sadly, men do that all too often. They help make the child, then skip out on their responsibilities. Since men are typically the ones who are frowned upon (because of their own doing), the women’s wrongdoing is often overlooked or ignored. That to me seems very unjust. Both parties should be held equally responsible in all matters that relate to the child. I get what you’re saying about the food bill too. My son eats more than my husband and I combined!
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There are too many woman that want to sit on their ass an do nothing to support “their children”. Both laid down both made the baby. The women is no less responsible. If you don’t want to be pregnant and raise a child don’t have sex!! Wow what a concept. For everything you do in life there is consequence good or bad (also depends on your perspective) when did ALL accountability go to the male? We are talking about Narcissistic Borderline personality women who think they are more important than their children and would trample them to save themselves. So Ladies make up your minds to you want true equality or do you want to be dependent on government handouts cuz that just kicks us back to dark ages again where the government thinks you have to have the man support you? Thousands of fathers pay for four days out of a month and then get manipulated into not being able to spend even that time. How does the child feel about this? Confused, hurt, and cant freely love the other parent for fear of repercussions, either emotionally, mentally,or physically. Child Support is nothing more than a ponzie scheme (the biggest in history) to make money for states, Judges, lawyers , CPS and DFACS.You women who support this are handing over your equality without a fight! Who cares if the man doesnt pay or does not want to be in their life. You can do this on your own right? Well why dont we have equal pay what about the glass ceiling that supposedly has been shattered? We are assisting in the break down of the family unit! Such a short sited view. Wake up ladies.
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You said this very well. I agree that women should be capable of handling their financed on their own. Except for temporary setbacks and a few rare exceptions, there is no excuse for anyone, male or female, to have to live off the government. Just like child support, it’s a good resource when used appropriately. Speaking of child support, child care can be expensive. To have the father at least pay a portion of that (a justified portion, not the outrageous amount that most courts stipulate) is only fair. After all, they both made the baby. They both should support it. But no matter what, whichever parent receives the child support should put it toward the care of the *child*, not toward their own needs/wants.
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That is a ridiculous blanket statement… If the child is being fed, with a roof over their head and clothes on their backs then that is called supporting your children. Child support calculations don’t take a number of very important factors into account such as school supplies, birthday gifts for their friends, gifts for the child, furniture for the child, trips to 7-11, etc. I could go on all day about this topic!! It costs way more to raise a child in your home than it does to pay child support. Your arguments are weak and are clearly meant to encite anger… I raised 4 children without a dime of support but I would never go on a tirade about it to encite anger!
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After reading your comment, I’m wondering if you actually read the post or just jumped to the comment section. No where in this post did I say or even hint that the money shouldn’t be used on school supplies, furniture, clothing and gifts. That’s *exactly* what the money is for. This was about women who spend all the money on themselves without using a dime for the child. The children I’m referring to don’t have nice clothes to wear. They don’t get gifts or special treats. They are living in a poverty-like lifestyle while their mother is out living it up, having all *her* needs met with her ex’s finances. This post was not written to anger others. It was to defend the helpless children who are being neglected and the fathers who are being taken advantage of. The only reason that someone would get angry while reading this post, is if they are guilty of doing this themselves…or if they didn’t fully read the post to begin with. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day.
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