Have you ever taken a good look at the search engine terms that most often bring outsiders to your blog? Over the past few months I have found this information to be both informative and enlightening. There are many keywords and search terms that people key in which lead them here. There is one in particular that I see almost every single day.
“Love turns to hate”
The wording has slight variations, but the idea is the same every time. This search immediately takes them to this post entitled “When Love Turns to Hate”. I’ll admit, every time I see that search term it saddens me. The main purpose behind that post was to find out why it is that a person can love someone one day and then hate them the next.
People ‘fall out of love’ with each other all the time. Although that’s a sad occurrence, it happens. A friend of mine once said, “What you may have needed then, may not be what you need now”. Over the course of a lifetime people change and so do their needs. The question is, is whether or not their relationship can hold up to those changes. Some can and some cannot.
I firmly believe that the determining factor heavily relies on what the relationship was built upon. What type of foundation does it have? A relationship built upon a genuine friendship and a sincere concern for one another will stand the test of time. On the other hand, a relationship built upon necessity generally will not, simply because that same need will not always be there.
With that said, I can understand why people fall out of love. What I can’t understand, is why and how that love can so easily transform into hate. Apparently, based on the search terms used to find this blog, there are many others who don’t understand either.
I love you. I hate you. That doesn’t make sense. Unless…they never truly loved to begin with. Maybe it was merely a relationship built upon necessity and nothing more. When someone comes along and fulfills our deepest needs, perhaps we don’t fall in love with the person, we fall in love with the feeling.
What are your thoughts? I guarantee there are people who are looking for answers.
Why is that people love one day and hate the next?
Hrm…I think maybe there was no real love to begin with. It took me a long time to learn what love was, and I can say that for me, it is hard to actually hate someone I have loved.
I agree. Once you truly love someone, then that love remains a part of you, no matter how deeply hidden it may be.
Physiologically speaking …… the emotions of love and hate are both experienced in the same part of the brain. There are not separate area’s for these emotions to resolve or make sense of, hence the turmoil becomes fused. It is only after the brain is capable of deciphering precisely “WHAT” it hates and loves – that it can then differentiate and determine between the two. Generally speaking it involves loving a person – but hating the way they have hurt you. Whatever that way may be. As that is difficult to decipher while experiencing inflicted or felt hurt – love and hate morphs into a hopefully temporary state of contempt filled love. Hating that you love – and loving that you hate …… or the fluxing confusion in between.
Thank you for commenting from a physiological stand point. I do love to learn.
I believe you’re right. It’s all a matter of finding out what it is that you hate. Once, and if, that can be resolved then possibly the love can then be restored as well.