People will always be a mystery to me. Why they do what they do, say what they say and behave the way they do, I will never understand.
Likewise, I don’t expect anyone to understand me, because quite frankly I make that difficult. I tend to keep much of myself on the inside.
The fact is, no one fully understands anyone, no matter how close they are to that person.
However, there is one thing that every person has in common – faults. Everyone has them, but do they admit it?
Am I perfect? No. Absolutely not and I would never claim to be. I have several faults that need work and I will be the first to admit them. I have been told that I am my worst critic. That is about as true as it gets.
I criticize everything about myself. My words, thoughts, facial expressions and my actions. I even criticize the natural sounds I make such as breathing, chewing and swallowing. It’s ridiculous.
When I see (or hear) something that needs to be changed in myself or if a fault is pointed out to me, I work to change it. Do I fail? Yes. All the time. But, I try, and I keep on trying. People can’t change overnight, but over time and with practice they can.
The truth is, that I don’t want anything that I do or say to upset, anger or irritate those around me. Therefore, my focus remains on the satisfaction of everyone else. I work hard, very hard to make others happy. The funny thing is, is it doesn’t work. It’s interesting that even when you endeavour to do all the right things, that nothing you do is right.
Why is this?
It’s simple. You can’t make everyone happy. It is impossible. Everyone is different and everyone wants things done differently. There’s a quote that says “You can’t be everything to everyone.” That’s true. You can’t. If you try, you will only make yourself miserable. People are very difficult to understand. We don’t come with a manual, although it sure would be nice if we did.
My Observations in Others
While I make myself crazy analyzing everything, there are others who seemingly have no clue about any of their faults. Not only can they not admit when they’re wrong, their actions are completely justified.
If they do something that is unreasonable or just downright rude, it’s not their fault. It’s someone else’s. The neighbor, their spouse, another driver, a coworker or even a piece of machinery. It doesn’t matter where the fault gets placed, as long as it’s not on them. But, could it be that maybe, just maybe they’re the one who needs to change? No. Of course not. What was I thinking?
Learn and Live
The lesson is and I need to learn this, is to just be yourself. Focus on making yourself a better person – for you. A person you like. Don’t change things about yourself just to fit the mold of someone else. Be real and people will like you a lot more, and you will be much happier. It’s a hard job trying to be everything to everyone. So, relax. Be you. If they don’t like you for you, then why are they there in the first place?
Also, remember that making others happy starts with you. You must first be happy with yourself and then those around you will be happy. Just like a smile, it’s contagious.
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” ~Judy Garland
As for those around you who are “never wrong” – love them anyway. The fact is, we can’t change others. They must change themselves. When they want to change, they will. So, encourage them to be better, with love and kindness. If that doesn’t work, don’t worry. Life has a way of changing people.
Thanks for such an inspiring post!!! I am working on myself at this precise moment in my life. Like you mentioned, I want to be happy with myself so that I can make someone else happy.
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” – Matthew 7:3
Thanks again my online friend 🙂
You are very welcome. It’s great to hear you’re working on yourself. I think it’s wonderful when people work towards self improvement. We can all use it.
This is something I’m working so hard on in my own life. Trying to identify the places where I can grow, trying to be patient with myself as I work through it, and trying to patient with the people in my life who don’t seem to be doing that same work of self-discovery. Thank you 🙂
That’s wonderful, Aimee. It is definitely an every day process. When we fix one thing, something else comes along. But, at the end of the day we’re better for it and those around us appreciate it too. Why others don’t seem to do the same thing, I don’t understand. You’re right though – with them we must just remain patient. Thank you for the reply.