His First Birthday Away – Honoring a Good Man

fatherdaughter

When he went to sleep, I knew in my heart that he would never wake again. Heartbroken, I said goodbye. Now he is gone, but he is certainly not forgotten. Today on his birthday, he is not here to share it with us. But, he is in our hearts.

My step-dad taught me many things growing up. How to change a flat tire and how to change the oil in my car. He taught me that a good man will come to the door when he picks up a lady, instead of sitting in his car honking the horn. He taught me how to respect my elders and how to listen before speaking. He taught me how to fish and he taught me that I can accomplish anything.

He also showed me how gullible I can be. Watching football one day he said, “Do you see those dark glasses {eye shields} the players are wearing?…Those are the blind players.” I believed him.

The 22 years he was in my life were not always easy. At first I didn’t even want him around. I was only 10 at the time and I wanted my Mom all to myself. She had other plans though and I, nor anyone else, could stop their love from forming. She needed him and he her. They were a perfect match. They still are.

Over the years I grew to like him and then to love him. He may never know how much I loved him and still love him now. But, I think he does. During his final days, there was so much said between us. Much was unspoken, but the love and endearment could not be denied.

I miss him.

One thing I have learned through all of this, is that death is personal. Everyone feels it differently. When you cry at night, no one knows. When a memory makes you smile, no one knows. It’s all very personal.

I love him.

He may be gone from here, but his lessons, his love and the memories we made as a family will go on.

“A life of short duration could be so rich in joy and love that it could contain more meaning than a life lasting eighty years.”
― Viktor E. Frankl

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19 Responses to His First Birthday Away – Honoring a Good Man

  1. philip469 says:

    you are truly an inspiration with your words , love the post!

    Like

  2. mewhoami says:

    Thank you so much!

    Like

  3. I am so sorry for your loss…it sounds like he was a wonderful step dad.

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  4. Emily says:

    Such a touching post! Where is the quote from, may I ask?

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    • mewhoami says:

      Thank you, Emily. The quote is by Viktor E. Frankl. I found it through a google search for “life quotes”. On a side note – I just read on Wikipedia that he was an Austrian neurologist, as well as a Holocaust survivor.

      Like

  5. pardenme says:

    Out loud I shared your beautiful post. My heart breaks to read your memories, to hear your love. What a precious gift he took with him that day.

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  6. He might have passed but your words prove he is still with you. Beautiful tribute!

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  7. Beautiful reflection of love worth remembering. So thankful God gives us these treasures …our memories!

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  8. sula1968 says:

    I also loved my step Dad and miss him so. He was a lovely man, it is so sad that he was only part of my life for 5 short years.

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    • mewhoami says:

      I’m sorry to hear about your loss. It’s so hard to lose a loved one. I’ve learned that often times it’s not about the years. It’s about the impact and the quality of those years. It sounds like during those five years, your step-dad made quite an impact on your life, as I’m sure you did in his as well.

      Like

  9. bloggingbyrgottier says:

    Hi!
    We all wish to have our parents around all the time. I had my mother die & watch her suffer even when I was totally around her
    everyday of my life. She was suffocating inside as her lungs were
    being compressed. It’s called congestive heart failure as the lungs
    are filled up with fluid around them & wanted her to keep on living too. I feel sad when I think of her & how she finally died going as peaceful as possible. She didn’t want to stay in a wheelchair. All she wanted was to go to bed & not feel the pain. Her loss hurts me a lot because I was so close to her all the time. Sorry to hear about your loss of your dad. It really does make you think so much of what you never had when he was around. Just the same with my mom.
    Came by here to see your posts on your wordpress blog through another woman who has OCD. Thought it would be good for me to
    say hi & let you know that there are others who miss their parents too. Check my blog out at http://lynnsblogs.wordpress.com. Have a great day!
    Rodney

    Like

    • mewhoami says:

      Rodney,

      Thank you very much for your comment. Also, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. That is a very difficult situation to go through and I can definitely sympathize, having gone through something very similar with my step-dad. In regard to your Mom, I am a “Momma’s girl”, so I can only imagine how it must have been (and remains to be) for you.

      I offer my sincere condolences to you. Thank you also for the link to your blog. I will be checking it out shortly. Have a wonderful evening and thank you again for your comment.

      Like

  10. Beautiful Tribute to a step dad, he will always be with you and sounds like he taught you all the important things in life, most of all never to take ourselves too seriously, love, laugh and live your life the way you know it would make him proud

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    • mewhoami says:

      You are right. I need to remember all that he taught me and carry those lessons with me always. That alone will be a tribute to him. Thank you so much for your comment.

      Like

  11. Pingback: Soul Mates On Different Floors | Me – Who am I?

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