I read someone’s opinion on Facebook yesterday. I don’t believe it was meant to hurt anyone. It was simply their opinion. However, if a person reading it was dealing with that specific situation, it could be very hurtful.
Free speech is a person’s right. However, we should think very carefully before speaking our mind on any given subject, because we never know how it will effect someone.
There is a time and a place to say things. Then there are other times when things should never be said.
“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
By no means am I innocent when it comes to keeping my mouth shut. I have been guilty several times of letting my mouth run off without thinking. However, I can honestly say that I rarely do this now, especially compared to the “old me”. It sure can be challenging though.
Couples do this probably more than anyone. In a heated discussion it is very easy to just spurt out whatever pops in your mind. Emotions take over and many times wisdom goes out the door. Unfortunately, this is also when the most hurtful words are spoken and no matter how many times we ask for forgiveness those words can not be taken back. Whether we want to admit it or not, those spoken words contain some amount of truth. It may be only a passing moment of truth, but it is truth nonetheless and people remember.
My husband is not perfect. He has his faults, as do I. The one thing that I have learned to ask myself is, “Is what I’m about to say needful?” If it’s not, I try very hard to keep it to myself. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but it is possible.
Communication is very important in a relationship, but the wrong communication can have dire consequences. You may want your significant other to change certain attributes and you should discuss those needs with him/her. However when you do, do so in a polite and thoughtful manner, just as you would like them to if the role was reversed. If that doesn’t work, give it time. After all, one of the best ways to encourage someone to change is by showing them love and leading by example.
Words not only hurt in relationships, but also children, friends and loved ones. We should encourage our children, not put them down. We should love our friends and not hurt them. Last but not least, we should cherish our loved ones, because we never know what tomorrow will bring.
Next time before you speak ask yourself, “Is it kind, is it necessary and is it true?” If the answer to any of these is “no”, then keep it to yourself. Trust me, not only will they appreciate it, but so will you.
“Wisdom is knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.”
I am glad you brought up the important difference of communication vs necessary communication. Having your say on a topic is one thing, speaking just because you can is quite another.
Yes it is. For many of us it is a hard lesson to learn, but a necessary one indeed. Thank you for your comment.